It feels like the end,
but it’s only the beginning…
I wrote the words, then chanted
I spoke the words and stood in formation
I created rituals, so I wouldn’t forget
I burned candles, I lit incense
I filled the room with sage and lobaan
I built an altar so that I could see, I
danced until I could once again breathe, I
didn’t have much company or outside influence, I
took time out for me.
My, Moon watching vigils lasted for hours, my
Sun salutations opened me to spirit, I
studied my chakras, my energy, my spirituality
I focused on balancing my core, I
posed in Kemet, I
tiptoed thru the Nile
I gazed into the Pacific, I,
cried into the Atlantic, I
connected with my angels,
they are my Ancestors, I
learned to forgive, I
learned to live, I
opened my heart, I
manifest so magickally, I
was given a purpose, I
mastered chemistry, I
summoned you, I
summoned me, I
let go, I
sang the song, I
held the hands of my friends, I
remembered my Mother, I
saw my Father, I
loved on my Sisters, I
called on my Brothers, I
purged, only to emerge
like a butterfly, colorful, I
by Shila Iris, 12/31/2018
Dedicated to Beverly White-Yates … read below
Shout out to my sister Judy, who is turning 36 today. Peace, my Love.
Also, I am remembering Beverly White-Yates who visited me the week before she passed.
She came to me during my meditation. I asked myself, “why is Beverly in my meditation?” My ancestors are the ones that visit me in this state, but she was there, smiling. She and I were very much alike. The first day we met, we were holding hands like sisters. We instantly connected! Our twenty year difference in age did not matter at all. She showed me what it was like to have unconditional, pure love from a woman. [Over the years, I have craved sisterhood in friendship, but the women that were around me, just weren’t authentic. No disrespect to them, we just didn’t align spiritually. On the surface, yes, but I was craving something real. I can see people for what they are to the core. That is a gift that I have accepted. So, often times, women will attach to me, but I may seem standoffish when I don’t feel that genuine, raw, honesty and love. Naturally, I have to protect myself]. Beverly had that. I could let down my guard and be real with her, with no judgment. She didn’t drain me, she added to my divine presence. She was awesome. I trusted her. I trusted that she’d never do anything to hurt me. It’s very rare for me to feel that. And even though I accept people and their actions, it feels good to know that someone will have your back no matter what. They won’t sell you out or be embarrassed by your authenticity.
When Beverly appeared in my meditation the week before her physical death, she didn’t tell me she was leaving this realm, she sent my friend Bobby to tell me. Odd, right? He came and sat down next to me and said, “I have something to tell you.” I couldn’t believe it. I explained to him that I had just saw her. I was in shock of her power, and of my own. The gifts that she and I shared. I saw her for what she was, and she saw me. I loved her. If we saw each other once every 3 years, the love would be the same. In the last video she sent to me, she said that she and I had the same vibratory energy, having been born under the Aquarius Sun sign. She also said that she always thought about me, and that she’d never forget me. Not very many women in my life have been honest with me in this way, so it made me cry, and even typing this, it makes me cry. I get it, though, I get death, and I know, like my ancestors, she is still here. I am blessed to have videos of her on the Marco Polo app to go back and look at, because I think of her a lot. I also have many pictures from when we worked together and videos from a project she helped me with in grad school. We spoke the previous year and a few times earlier this year. She is with me, always. For as long as I am here, I will keep her alive in my thoughts and in the stories I share. Peace.
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