Karmatic Life Explosions

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Karma3Monday morning anxieties,
washed away
visions of forever,
lost.
the comprehension of humanity,
gained.
living contradictions,
fly away.
no judgment of before, or after
new stories, begin

living on the path of the sun
i orbit
my heart beats to
the length and rhythm of day and night

seasons change
shape and speed, rotation leads

the past is gone,
the future, unpredictable,
the moment is now.

the love that I grew for you is 360
energy, recycled,
i don’t know what to do.
but the thought doesn’t make me blue,
my heart goes out to you.

degrees from experience,
and karmatic life explosions
there is no equation,
it’s all in persuasion.
which mountain do you stand on?
outlook and perspective
lost emphasis in translation

did they forget that there is
no Always, no Never
It’s Possibly, Maybe.
promises turn shady

the lava from volcanic eruptions
bring me closer to my Maker,
i am the Creator.
This side of the moon,
life is worth living.
free your mind
and the rest, will follow.      -by shilairis

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kar·ma
ˈkärmə/  > informal
  • destiny or fate, following as effect from cause.
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peace and love,
Queen OSiRis
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Day 2 – KWANZAA AT SUNSET: Alláh-u-Abhá الله أبهى

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“Every time you suppress some part of yourself or allow others to play you small, you are in essence ignoring the owner’s manual your Creator gave you and destroying your design.”             – Oprah Winfrey

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Last night, I accidentally reset my phone to its factory settings. At first, I started pushing lots of buttons trying to prevent the phone from erasing the past few months of my life! I was frantic! Then, I stopped and just smiled. I said, “wow Universe, you are a trip!” The previous day, I had realized that my phone was reaching its capacity for storage space. So, I had planned to back it up on my computer, but failed to do so. I guess the phone said, “no need, I’ll clear myself out!”

I was holding on to phone numbers of people who I no longer speak to, text messages, pictures, social media riffraff– all things that I just didn’t need anymore. Moving this stuff from my phone to my computer would not have done any good. It needed to be erased.

For a moment I was sad because I had lost contacts, beautiful and poetic text messages, pictures of my family, notes, documents. I had to stop and think, reflect. I realized that what I was losing wasn’t nearly as important as the new things that I am creating! The people who I need to talk to will call. The Universe told me so. The messages that I need to remember are already in my heart and indelibly printed in my mind.

♥ ♥ So my DAY 2 gift to you, is a challenge because what is life without a challenge? ♥

RESET YOUR LIFE TO ITS FACTORY SETTINGS. Stop holding on to “stuff.” Sometimes it is wise to treat your stuff like a house that caught fire- it’s gone, you can’t turn back the hands of time. It happened just as it should have. Where’s your faith?

The Kujichagulia principle says African Americans, like all people, need shared cultural values, symbols, rituals, and practices in order to give their families and children meaning and value, identity and community.

To find these rituals, if you so wish to repeat those of your ancestors, you have to dig into the stacks, and find your history. Your history says that you are GOD. Find out what Khem is, and study hieroglyphs, such as the ankh. These things are more than symbols to wear as pieces of jewelry, they represent a lifestyle, practices that are very beneficial to the spirit. Very few people embrace what these symbols mean, but you can. Find your GOD.


As I enter into another year, I won’t hold on to the junk mail. The baggage has to go! Each person that I encounter, each experience, is fresh. I don’t want to anchor myself in the past, nor anticipate the future to the point that I am constantly worried about things (such as social constructs). So, I would like to thank the Most High, for resetting my phone to its factory settings because I was not bold enough to do it myself. I would’ve picked through and tried to save, but what was lost, needed to be gone.

So I woke up this morning, and the first person who sends me a text message is Jala Rani. I recently got to spend some time with this beautiful sister, and it is something about her that is magnificent. The way she moves, her warmth, her touch is that of a kindred spirit. To sit and talk to her felt like I was talking to myself. She’s very young and vibrant, but in that moment, she felt like an ancestor- with wisdom, respect, and charm. She was judgment free! She spoke to me about the pain she’s experienced in life, nature, diet, thrifting- we jumped around, but it was all beautiful!

The message that she sent to me this morning was about Kujichagulia, otherwise known as SELF-DETERMINATION. She asked some very important questions, and they…

____________________________________________________   inspired me to write…

I lift you up, just the way you are    There is nothing about you that I would change    Not a flaw, not a thing    The Universe sent you to me, in this format    I place no judgment    I thank your mother for delivering you to the world    I thank your father for planting the seed     I thank everyone who has encountered you    for they have watered you and made you fit for this moment   what you are today,    is my kinG, my Queen    when YOU turned and smiled at me,    I saw what is called,    HEAVEN     I saw honesty     You are everything     That you are supposed to be     So don’t worry about their standards     Don’t worry about what they say     Don’t worry about anything outside of you because you are the HIGHest     and each day, I pray, that you get higher and higher     I see you stand alone, fearlessly,     not seeking validation.      I see you loving yourself     I see you sleeping alone, coveting your own bed    I see you, unafraid and unmoved by their interpretations of the truth     I see GOD in you     i see you push reset    uplifting yourself,    just the way god made you     hold on to those memories that bring forth light    we collect a lot throughout our journeys,      but today,        hold on to you.      Hug yourself,      think of nothing but what gOD gave you,

and that gift is You.

“Now, I know, that you don’t know me at all

But if you know yourself
Well, then you know me very well”             -Indie Arie

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When I speak of Alláh-u-Abhá, I am referencing the oneness of GOD and the spiritual Unity of humankind. You must be able to see the GOD inside of YOU. Take your focus off of everyone else, and see ONLY YOU. Turn the mirror around and let it face YOU. What you see, must be GOD. Alláh-u-Abhá, translates to, “God is Most Glorious.” It’s an Arabic greeting that is repeated 95 times a day. So instead of checking your Facebook, or your Instagram 15 times a day, try chanting, Alláh-u-Abhá. You are great! I just thought I should tell you that.


LASTLY, I don’t encourage people to necessarily throw things away, especially people, we are NOT disposable. However, if you care about someone or something, throw away those painful feelings that make you hate them. Most importantly, throw away the painful feelings that make you hate yourself.  If when you think of anyone or anything, and you become enraged, it is time to examine yourself. Typically, people don’t just do things to intentionally hurt, and when they do, you’ll know that for sure. But people do things, when they feel threatened, when they feel like they aren’t being taken serious. If someone hurt you, try to understand why. Don’t be so selfish as to think, it was all about you. Remember that things happen for a reason. Buttttttttttttttt…

let your shit, your baggage burn in the fire. Earlier this year, I got to attend a ceremony with a group of teachers who wrote things on slips of paper- negative things that they were holding on to in regards to their careers and what goes on in the classroom. They threw these slips of paper in the fire. I know that change isn’t as simple as throwing a slip of paper into the fire, but the symbolism was to say, let it go. Remember the love. You know you want it! Stop being angry and stop acting like you are a victim, as if you’ve done nothing wrong. Balance your life out with the TRUTH.

So in the end, I say, find your GOD and if that God is you, may peace be with you.

“Let us, in shaping our own Destiny set before us the qualities of human JUSTICE, LOVE, CHARITY, MERCY AND EQUITY. Upon such foundation let us build a race.  I feel that the God who is Divine, the Almighty Creator of the world, shall forever bless this race of ours, and who to tell that we shall not teach men the way to life, liberty and true human happiness? ”                       -Marcus Garvey

I love you. Thank you for reading.

Queen OSiRis of the Kingdom of Kush 5:00 p.m. 12/27/14

Crux Ansata

Pulling From the Universe Inside of ME – Nurturing My Cipher

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I was trying to go it alone, but he said, “I want to assist you through this process.” Before I knew it, I was crying. That is the impact a true friend has. It’s not just rhetoric, it’s responsibility. He wanted to hold my hand. He was pure.

***** The seasons will forever change. We all know it. The leaves have fallen off my trees. The ground beneath my feet is hard and cold. My flowers are hiding until the spring, but I can still feel the green, the roots. My foundation is being set. I’ve never felt this powerful in my life! It feels good. My season has changed and I’ve had to spend a lot of time alone. Spending time with myself, with my own thoughts, not being dependent on another has been empowering! Not jumping from affair to affair has been elevating. Having friends and family around who see the greatness in me, has been nourishing. I am not afraid to be alone anymore or to commit to myself anymore. I’m thinking, if you can’t be alone with you, why would other people want to? I don’t want to attract the same type of energy again and again, so I guess it is time to cleanse!

I record my experiences using poetry. When I talk to people about how great it feels to go through things, no matter how painful, when I tell people my story, they are interested! I’ve been encouraged to always be a griot, a storyteller, and to use the magic of my words to nurse my strength. When I write, I can feel the magic. It’s healing. I am a writer who’s finds the most comfort in telling my own story. My journey through the seasons has been tumultuous. I had been holding on to things that were damaging me. I had read many self-help books that I thought would assist in my healing, only to realize that the healing didn’t start until I let go of the thing that was hurting me most. I had to take time out to learn myself and although I have been alone, many people have come to me, and given me hugs, smiles, kisses, and so much love.

This is my thank you LETTER to the wonderful people in my CIPHER. Some of you are miles away, but when I needed you, somehow you sensed it, and you were right here with me. I am forever grateful. May we journey onward through the seasons. Everything is good until it is not! It’s been a long time coming… read (click on the image below to enlarge)

“his excitement in hearing my voice was attractive. it always had been. it felt real. not rehearsed. it felt right.”

the THANK YOU LETTER… you have to adjust your screens to read.All I See is You_October 2014 copy

and although, i don’t need to run to people to save me, i’ve realized that there are people who genuinely want to help. No matter how much I refuse, they feel like they have to. It’s quite amazing. I am grateful. this poem was originally published here, on January 29, with other things in mind. It is still relevant in my journey. it is not a love poem. it is a poem to show my regards for those who really CARE about me. and they have proven this time and time again. i can’t believe how wonderful you are. i deserve u. i miss u. People Around Us Poem copy

THANK YOU SO MUCH! Thank you friends, lovers, family, companions, artists- everyone who has experienced me! Everyone who rose to my occasion, everyone who was interested in the truth.

You are so true.
i can see the sun shining on me, through you.
i can see it in the words that you write.
the pictures that you take.
the stories that you create.
your style,
your flow.
i needed honesty.
i needed someone to remind me.
and you were that person.
i want to be like you!
Osiris, I am you.
Horus, I am you.
Isis, I am you.
Maat, I am you.
Zarina Asha, I am you.
Imhotep Famj, I am you.
SunRe, I am you.
Kitara, i am you.
Ike Ejiogu, I am you.
You all are the Papyrus of Ani,
and i am reading you thoroughly.
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thank you for the warm kisses.

thank you for SHOWING up.
thank you for not giving up on ME,
and not allowing me to give up on myself.
thank you for not humiliating me or lying.
Feet
I thank you for never running away,
and for respecting me enough to let me live through the consequences of my bad decisions. i kept a strong face, but I was crying inside. you all never passed judgment… i am running towards you at a fast pace, I need you most.
My opposing viewpoints earned me lifetime lovers. thank you for taking my heart carefully in your hands and stroking it.
through my experiences, I am wiser.
My feet are touching solid ground because of you.
I am most grateful for those who did not wait for the smoke to clear.
they helped me get to safety.
they gave me the tools, the support I needed to save myself.
No looking back. The new is on the horizon.
i am filling myself up again with REAL things!
thank you so much!
to those who did not compare my journey to their own or anyone’s.
they did not look for opportunities to vent,
they listened.
they allowed me to exist in exclusivity.
they allowed me to be in the lime light.
those who just accepted me for who i am.
those who did not share my pain with the world.
or talk about me in circles as if they had any idea what life has been like for me. 
you don’t know me at all. 

Thank you to all who allow me to tell my own stories.

thank you to those who did not stump on me.
their insecurities did not force me into a corner.
their insecurities did not force me to lie.
their confidence encouraged me to be free,
to be happy, to be merry, 
and not to live my life trying to please people who really don’t love me.
they helped me to see that I cannot be controlled.
i am in control of me. 
they helped me to not seek revenge,
but to release the things that bound me.
Friend:  “Let it go baby!
LET IT GO BABY!”
i was so blind, but now i see.
you listened to my story. you listened to the truth.
asante sana. nakupenda. lala salama.
I am Shila Iris also known as YoU.

Gotta give up it up to the cReAtor, allAh, JEHovah, mAAt, Jah, RastaFARI…

a song for you.

ERYKAH BADU:  THE Healer

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Monday, October 13, 2014, 2:34 p.m.

WOMEN’S STORIES- The ART of STORYTELLING

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Storytelling is a creative art form that dates back to the beginning of time. It has been one of the most effective methods in communicating and in sharing history. It allows us to break down and let it all out! I personally love to share my stories with people as part of my cycle of growth. I have loved and been loved; I have hurt and been hurt- telling these stories are liberating!

No one can tell you how to tell your story. You have to decide on the best way to share your life. Some people will like what you do, and many won’t, but if you keep a clean heart, the world will return the positive energy to you.

I most often choose to tell my stories using poetry. I look like this when I do (lol). Queen1

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I find it refreshing and it gives me a crazy boost that flows through my entire body! It’s hard to explain. My style is at best rhythmic, but the cadence changes just as the temperature of my stories change. My pulse goes up and down and through the roof! Even when I’m calm, I’m excited inside. I tell women’s stories because I AM WOMAN. Some of these stories are bright and cheerful, and some are deep and dark, but in the end everything is good.

In storytelling, I have learned that denial is not an option. The truth sets me free. My perspective is what’s most important in my art of storytelling. I mesh together what I have learned with what’s happening now. The past, the future, and the most important- THE PRESENT! I am here RIGHT NOW! Not tomorrow or yesterday- now!

In my continued celebration of women I would like to share with you a small gift that a very special person gave to me … Nikki Giovani’s book “My House.” Published in 1972.
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The guy that gave me this book is someone that I talk to in passing, but he’s almost a stranger. Somehow he understood that I adored poetry and he decided to give me this book as a gift for Women’s History Month. Much love to him for thinking of me. What is so special about this gift is that pages 25 and 26 are missing! The poem that is supposed to be on these pages is called Just A New York Poem. This is weird for me because New York has been on my mind for weeks now. He gives me this book with the poem ripped out! Interesting. I feel like I needed that poem to be in the book, but it is not. Well, the rest of the book is great. Check it out if you can.

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I like Nikki’s poems. I met Nikki Giovanni during my undergraduate studies at Fisk University. She once attended Fisk and she was a visiting professor for some time. I really dig her evolution as a woman. Her stories travel deep into the soul and resonate. She tells the truth. I appreciate Nikki Giovanni and all the women who boldly tell stories of hurt and triumph without placing blame or pointing fingers. Peace to all Queens who have stopped hiding. Peace to you.
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Queen Duafe for African Essence

Musik for the Soul – TUPAC remembered

I am a poet. I love to manipulate words into messages. For me, the process of writing can be magical and extremely therapeutic. I have an appetite for expression. My expression is not like A FB status update, or a tweet, not even a profile change on LinkedIn. It’s more like having a conversation with a person who is willing to listen and with a person who is willing to share. It is not posting a YouTube video, it is coming into real contact with people everyday and knowing what to say to them and looking into their eyes and seeing my own reflection.

It’s hard to judge anyone. Many of us are in pain and we hurt others attempting to find peace. In finding this peace, we end up creating more pain, brokenhearted  We need to learn how to stop this dangerous process of victimization. It is a bad habit in many of the people’s lives that I am in contact with. Men and women seem not  to want to take responsibility for the failed relationships in their lives. Quick to point the finger, we create unnecessary enemies and label them “haters.” Haters is only one of the names- hypocrites, bullshitters, fake posers, speculators… so many names, but the bottom line is always the same. The problem, the common denominator is you. Is it too much for us to correct our own deviant and harmful behaviors before we start pointing and talking behind backs trying to rally comrades because we are too afraid to stand alone.

Does this sound like you? Well its time to change.

This blog posting is labeled Musik for the Soul. I was going through my windows music library tonight and 2Pacs’ CD came up. It is always the first CD I see in my library, but I rarely click on it. Tonight I had to click on “So Many Tears.” I listened to the song and was extremely moved by 2Pac, Tupac, Makaveli- the writer, the rapper, the actor, the poet with many faces and many names. He was an extremely articulate writer… hmmmmm

His lyrics seem to be a constant reality for so many REAL people.

The lyrics go like this. What do you think?

“So Many Tears”

I shall not fear no man but God

Though I walk through the valley of death
I shed so many tears (if I should die before I wake)
Please God walk with me (grab a nigga and take me to Heaven)Back in elementary, I thrived on misery
Left me alone I grew up amongst a dyin breed
Inside my mind couldn’t find a place to rest
until I got that Thug Life tatted on my chest
Tell me can you feel me? I’m not livin in the past, you wanna last
Be tha first to blast, remember Kato
No longer with us he’s deceased
Call on the sirens, seen him murdered in the streets
Now rest in peace
Is there heaven for a G? Remember me
So many homies in the cemetery, shed so many tearsAhh, I suffered through the years, and shed so many tears..
Lord, I lost so many peers, and shed so many tearsNow that I’m strugglin in this business, by any means
Label me greedy gettin green, but seldom seen
And fuck the world cause I’m cursed, I’m havin visions
of leavin here in a hearse, God can you feel me?
Take me away from all the pressure, and all the pain
Show me some happiness again, I’m goin blind
I spend my time in this cell, ain’t livin well
I know my destiny is Hell, where did I fail?
My life is in denial, and when I die,
baptized in eternal fire I’ll shed so many tearsLord, I suffered through the years, and shed so many tears..
Lord, I lost so many peers, and shed so many tears

Now I’m lost and I’m weary, so many tears
I’m suicidal, so don’t stand near me
My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer
to embrace an early death, now there’s nothin left
There was no mercy on the streets, I couldn’t rest
I’m barely standin, bout to go to pieces, screamin peace
And though my soul was deleted, I couldn’t see it
I had my mind full of demons tryin to break free
They planted seeds and they hatched, sparkin the flame
inside my brain like a match, such a dirty game
No memories, just a misery
Paintin a picture of my enemies killin me, in my sleep
Will I survive til the mo’nin, to see the sun
Please Lord forgive me for my sins, cause here I come…

Lord, I suffered through the years (God) and shed so many tears..
God, I lost so many peers, and shed so many tears

Lord knows I.. tried, been a witness to homicide
Seen drivebys takin lives, little kids die
Wonder why as I walk by
Broken-hearted as I glance at the chalk line, gettin high
This ain’t the life for me, I wanna change
But ain’t no future right for me, I’m stuck in the game
I’m trapped inside a maze
See this Tanqueray influenced me to gettin crazy
Disillusioned lately, I’ve been really wantin babies
so I could see a part of me that wasn’t always shady
Don’t trust my lady, cause she’s a product of this poison
I’m hearin noises, think she fuckin all my boys, can’t take no more
I’m fallin to the floor; beggin for the Lord to let me in
to Heaven’s door — shed so many tears
(Dear God, please let me in)

Lord, I’ve lost so many years, and shed so many tears..
I lost so many peers, and shed so many tears
Lord, I suffered through the years, and shed so many tears..
God, I lost so many peers, and shed so many tears…

Very moving!!!!!!!!
We all suffer, but we are all given the final decision to change.
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Tupac was normal, just like us all. He went through many different controversial phases under public scrutiny. He did things that I do not accept such as the sagging and the california love video, and spreading hate throughout rap with the heated beef with east coast rappers . However, when he was in his right mind, her had many many great lyrics. I think in the end he realized that his greatest enemy was himself.
This song is like a great poem. We honor Edgar Allen Poe, but perhaps we should embrace these types of stories more- like the story told in this song is relevant to the men that we deal with everyday. This was not too long ago and these types of ills still exist. It’s nice when we find situations where the men have not been harmed so much or had to live a rough lifestyle, but the reality is, many of them do. How do you deal with that ladies? How do you deal with a man who has suffered and who has been abused by the world, his family, society, and himself? How do you love this man while maintaining your own identity? It’s a struggle. What do you think ladies?
Peace and Love,
Queen Duafe for African Essence