Today I was introduced to Omar. I really like the sound of him. I visited a bar on Cleveland’s west side and he was set up to do a video interview on Skype for fans and in promotion of his new album. He was really cool and laid back. The bar played the whole CD and I really dug it. Check it out.
I am looking forward to dissecting this CD. I will probably get it in a few weeks. It sounded so good at the bar! Omar seemed grounded and pure during his interview.
Surfing the net, I came across these images of beautiful women with flava. THESE ARE SOME STYLES YOU MAY want to TRY in JULY. I love to give style alternatives because so many women whom I come across think that style is wearing the tightest clothing you can find. That is so wrong! Women look most regal and respectable when they wear clothing that flows. Now, I am not saying that some things cannot be form-fitting, but you have to be careful because it is a fine line between form-fitting and clothing that is for attention whores! You have to keep your mind pure and know your body. If you have hips and curves it is not OK to show everyone what you got all the time. Honestly, sometimes it gets hot, but we women have to be careful what we show. I have made mistakes and worn things that I wish I hadn’t in all innocence, but quickly found out that some men simply cannot handle that and I did not want or need the attention … yeah.
Designed by Michael Kors. I would love to have this.
Hair accessories… great!
Suit… very nice. africafashionguide.com
Lovely attire.
Nigerian garb. This is awesome! They come to America and stop dressing like this! I wish they didn’t! Lol.
I really love the simplicity of this pic. Fashion should be simple. Got this pic browsing one of my fav websites: afropunk.com
This is a nice laid back outfit. Dressing down can be cool.
Headwraps are just the greatest ! I am going to try this!
Nigerian mulit-colored braids. Love this! Duafe earrings… nice.
Got this picture from lipstickalley.com. This sister is from Mozambique. Such a lovely cut!
This is great! More women should dress like this instead of wearing inappropriate tight clothes!
Peace and love,
Queen Duafe for AfricanEssence
P.S. Looking for some chill music? Sade’s band Sweetback’s CD never gets old. It’s very smooth and actually good on days when you just want to sit back and listen to your thoughts…
Check it out from your local library or purchase it on Amazon. I give it a 5 star review.
“Everyday in America, we get up, and we live life because we have infrastructure. We have water. We have electricity. We don’t think about these things. We utilize these things. But (en Ayiti) in Haiti, we have to get up, and we have to (cheche lavi) look for life. But despite that, we still get up, we still say, ‘Thank you life.’ We still say mesi lavi.” -Marie-Yolaine Eusebe
It’s 2013, and a major issue in Haiti is Cholera. Lack of clean water and healthcare have made it difficult to get rid of the widespread epidemic. Most families, whether they live in the remote mountains of Haiti or an over-populated city, don’t have access to clean water. Women and children either have to hike or walk for a long period of time to obtain water in plastic gallons and water buckets. The water they have access to is not clean…
I really like Natalie Stewarts’ poetry. I prefer this type of deliverance more than others such as slam or spoken word. This is slow and sensual, allowing us to think and grasp the words. I dig.
Being Free – It’s Poetry
The reality is that sometimes I am open
I am open to the world around me
The people I see inspire me to be the best that I can be
I am open to the man or the woman that is aware of my love vibrations
Understanding that I am not moved by lust or lack of trust
I am moved by the soul acceptance and the humility that oozes out of your heart
Judged mistakes make it seem like you think that you are better than me
It’s a sad reality that you choose to be bothered by my freedom
Your troubled glances, take me out of my natural high trances and you leave me wanting to abandon your community
I want to be so far away from your ego and your drunken stupors that I am willing to leave it all behind
Just so that I can breath
Mother nature is calling me and urging me to spread my wings
But I am here, trying to fight and win back the time when I was your native queen
My heart is not under lock and key
My mind is not hard to decipher for the person that is meant for me
I respect myself, I respect my growth, I respect the yellow brick road that goddess has paved for me. My journey is golden no matter how low I am or how high
It’s all a part of the beautiful image of me that sits on your mantelpiece
If I never told you this, let me be clear what I am and what I am not
I am water
I am constantly flowing creating a vortex around the minds of people who choose to receive me
I am not too proud yet I do not possess low esteem
I am well versed on where I come from and I intend to share that world with anyone who crosses my path
I am uncompromising when it comes to my values and I will not be told that I am anything less than great
I am the spitting image of what it means to be human
I am good I am bad I am love I am hate
I use the scales to weigh the situations that bind my mind
I get confused when you decide to use me and walk all over my ability to remove myself from harm and chaos
I am not a cheerleader, I am more like a friend who is not afraid to tell you that you are wrong and dead wrong and you need to go home, maybe be alone
to reflect on what it is you really want
I don’t want to drag my feet across filthy floors and be defined by my ability to please you, and inability to see you through a storm that might last forever
I don’t want to scream and shout about love, there should be no doubt
I don’t want to paint beautiful pictures of people who cannot see me, will not see, and refuse to stop killing me over and over and over, it’s not softly
It hurts to be stabbed and jabbed with words that are meant to pierce my soul and destroy my freedom
I do not comprehend waiting, when momentum is now
I am not interested in missing any chances I have to eat, pray, and love
If I am not eating with you and if I am praying with you than love is cancelled out and it’s time to move on
I am not easy in any manner and I am not unreasonable banter
I am just a woman who is interested in the real thing
Honestly, I have been obsessed with lace up the front cognac/brown tall leather boots for some time now. However, I have yet to get some because I cannot afford them. … but mark my words, I will one day, really soon! I shouldn’t say “obsessed,” but I have done tons of Google searches trying to find a cheaper pair and when I am thrift-ing, I always have my eye open, hoping to find a vintage pair!
WAIT! WAIT!
B4 YOU CLICK ON THE PIC, ANSWER THE QUESTION IN THE POLL ABOVE. Thanks!
This is that one shoe in life, I would splurge on and I would wear these boots year round! If I got these, there would be NO need for me to ever buy another shoe in life (just kidding)! Lol!
I am going to be 30 pretty soon and at least 20 people have asked me about having children. Whenever my age comes up, this is the first thing that people inquire about! Everyone wants to know about my marital status and my desires to start a family. Very rarely do people ask if I am happy with the work that I do or if I have good health. The only thing people seem to care about with this 29 year old girl is rather I am going to start having babies! Well I am not!
I am finding it hard to endure this sense of urgency and pressure that people are putting on me to have children right now! Honestly, I do not desire to have a child at the current moment and I am not the type of person who has dreamed of being married with children since I was a little girl. I have dreams more like Martin Luther King, Jr. I am sure the experience of having a child is wonderful, but I am in a different place. I do not need a child to define what I am as a woman. What I really need in my life is peace. Without it, I cannot imagine ever having a child.
Finding peace is my number one goal in life. I need to be able to live with who I am and get the best out of all of my experiences. I want to do other things so that if I ever have a child, I would be able to share my wonderful life with them via travel, education, and spirituality. My journey has only begun. If I do not have a child, then I will continue to share these things with my nieces and nephews. So to everyone that cannot help but to worry about what is going to happen to 30 year old Shila, you can just stop it! What I want is to stand on solid ground. Everything else will come naturally.
I cannot live up to anyone’s expectations, not even my own sometimes. So I would love it if everyone could just chill. It almost seems like people pity me for being childless. It’s like they ridicule my freedom. Not to say that children take away all freedom, but this is the tone in which people speak to me.
However, life is a beautiful thing and I appreciate everything that happens to me. I can appreciate the “warnings” but I do not feel threatened by age. I feel enlightened and mature! I am not afraid of 30. When I was 25, two different doctors advised that I start having children then. They made it sound like if I didn’t start soon, my chances of miscarriage would be high. This may be true, but WHAT IF I am just a healthy person? Let’s focus on that! I always wondered why they had to make my life sound like a ticking time bomb.
I feel like turning 30 will be the beginning of another beautiful phase in my life and I am ready to learn and just have fun with it. I have noticed changes in my metabolism and I have gained a little weight- I am the heaviest that I have ever been in my life. I noticed that any extra pounds I pick up are gathering in my midsection and thighs. All I can do is work harder at eating right and exercising (so, no I am not pregnant to the people who asked!).
Frankly, I am so excited to be getting away from the turbulent twenties. I feel like moving on. I am ready to accept everything that comes with age rather it be weight or peace. I was speaking with someone about looks and she spoke to me as if my body changes had to be a negative thing. Why would I expect to have the same body as I did when I was younger? I am not interested in looking like a plastic magazine cover either. I want to be naturally me. Furthermore, I am fond of moderation so I will not watch myself become too much of anything if I can help it. Turning 30 does not mean that I can start overeating and destroying my body. I want to stay healthy. I know plenty of sistahs who are in their 40s, 50s, and 60s who look amazing.
My girl Rashimba Bloom is looking good in her late 30s!
I do not fear looking older. I just do not see myself letting go and becoming desperate for a relationship or for a man. I am not interested in the older man who chases after younger women purposefully as if older women have nothing he desires. I figure, let the younger women have him, because I don’t want an immature man like that. My mind operates a little differently. I am prone to move towards a person out of love and not lust.
Also, I have noticed that I feel differently about many things; but I can control my anxiety and levels of stress better than I ever have. My hair is different, my mind is different, and my spirit is ever evolving! That is what I care about. Not the simple age of 30. The “BIG 3-0″ they say! NO PRESSURE. I am ready to embrace it all! Furthermore, if I get to be 40, and my partner and I decide to have a baby, all we can do is try. There will be no regrets. I am living in this moment right now… and I love it!
Wondering how to wear your NON-FANCY thrift store finds? Check it out. … and if you haven’t ever visited this blog, be sure to check out the ABOUT page aka Details tab at the top.
I love when the sun is out! I live in Midwestern United States where it is cold at least 9 months out of the year. So, when the sun decides to show its face, I am like, here I am, shine down on me! I have to be careful because last year I got my very first sun burn and it wasn’t fun at all! So remember everyone if you are going to be in the sun, for even just a few minutes, rub shea butter on your skin because it is a sun block. You may even want to use something else along with the shea.
My first day in the sun… I bought this outfit from second hand stores.
Clip-on earrings $1.99 from Icing by Claires
Shirt- light-weight sweater material- $4 from Platos Closet
Shirt- Amnerican Eagle Outfitters from Platos Closet $4
Bone bracelets $25- Festival vendor
This denim skirt is from the thrift store for $3. It is a brand I only see at Target. I think it’s cool that it has pockets.
Claires sales ankh rings!
Ankh ring- Claires (clearance price $3.75)
I love this ring, but it’s cheap!
The bone ring on my right hand is from City Buddha of Cleveland Heights. It was $3.95.
I am not sure if you can tell, but this is Revlon black nail polish which I really like. To give it a matte look I used China Glaze matte top coat. It was on sale at Sally’s for $2.50. I got 2 bottles. I am impressed. It is a good top coat. I went without chipped polish for at least two whole days. I’m rough on my hands!
Let me say, I just cut my hair, yet again! I love short hair. It is auburn-colored. I am going to stop using chemical dyes soon and switch to henna dye which is now sold at Whole Foods. I got a cheap $4 dye from Sally’s Beauty (who is Sally?, lol).
SHIRT by American Eagle Outfitters via Plato’s Closet. It is blue and a light-weight sweater material – $4
SKIRT by Mossimo which is a brand only sold at Target via Thrift Store – denim with pockets $3
SANDALS by Kohls – $10
FEATHER EARRINGS from Icing by Claire’s – $1.99
BONE BRACELETS- African street festival – $25
BONE RING- City Buddha in Cleveland Heights, Ohio – $3.95
ANKH RING- Claire’s (in the mall) – $3.75
FINGER NAIL POLISH- Revlon Knockout Color 731 from Walgreen’s – $4; top coat is Matte Magic by China Glaze from Sally’s Beauty Supply – $2.50 on clearance
… these little details won’t matter to the men, but women ask, so there it is!
If you haven’t ever visited this blog, be sure to check out the DETAILS page.
Jambo! I hope you are feeling good today. If you are not, there is still a chance to turn your day around. It starts with you. I suggest using sounds and smells to heighten your senses and lift the vibrations around you. The vibrations around you are the levels of good or bad energy. The higher the vibration, the better off you are. What DO I DO to turn my day around and lift my vibrations? I am glad you asked! My checklist goes like this:
Light some incense- even my friends with asthma use incense. If you are able to find a good brand such as Wild Berry, HEM, or Tulasi- you are in luck. These brands release the longest lasting smells that can linger for hours.
Try having a positive conversation with someone- only talk about the good things that are going on in your life. Try NOT to talk about anything negative and offer no complaints. I love calling my friends that live in other cities. I can have a fresh experience talking to them without having to tell them about anything bad.
Eat a well-balanced meal. I find that eating good food really lifts my spirit. I like spicy fish and veggies, Indian and African dishes, smoothies, coconut ice cream from Trader Joe’s, some meats (not fried). I LOVE GOOD FOOD! Steamed broccoli with garlic and lemon really gives me energy as well as brussel sprouts and kale sauteed in olive oil with garlic and capers. Go green if you are really feeling down.
Get some plants. I find that looking at them lifts my mood. I got some beautiful plants from a garden center. It’s best to go to a real garden center if you are looking for a mature plant (not Wal-Mart or Home Depot). These are my plants:
Golden Pothos- Requires little light and watering only once every 10 days.
Mature Pothos like this look great on top of book shelves.
Sansevieria (aka snake plant) is the easiest house plant to care for, requiring very little attention. This one is very mature.
GOOD MUSIC- if you can find an old album that you really like, listen away! If you want to try something new. Go to YouTube and type in the names of your favorite artists. On the right hand side of the screen, YouTube lists recommendations. A lot of times these recommendations are great! YouTube tries to find other artists that are similar to the one you typed in. I type Sade or Nneka and I get great results. I love 90s music so I type 702 or TLC, and get great results too.
And this brings me to YahZarah! I am so excited to share the music of this wonderful lady. She made her mark performing as a background singer for Erykah Badu (I just learned this). She also sang with a music group called the Foreign Exchange (I remember this). I heard her album The Ballad of Purple St. James and I loved it! The first song is the most inviting. You can use it for various occasions to get a party started! It just makes you want to get up and dance. This is YahZarah:
HAVING A GOOD DAY THE TANTRIC WAY? Check out this video. Pay attention to her altar. Change your day by listening to vibes like this! This made me feel good at a time when I was experiencing a lot of fatigue. I ended up finding it on YouTube by mistake. I watched it 10 times! I was so high. I love it! Furthermore, I am doing research on the Goddess Kali and in this video YahZarah has an image of the Goddess over her altar. Awesome! I admire her movement and confidence. I do not consider her energy strictly sexual. It can be a whole lot of things.
Peace and love,
Queen Duafe for African Essence
P.S. Looking for more information on Tantricism? I found this book to be useful.
Welcome to African Essence. If you haven’t ever visited this blog be sure to check out the Details page.
Today’s style idea is: HOW TO WEAR SKINNY JEANS! I have trouble with this type of jean simply because I prefer a certain cut: straight leg and my favorite is bootcut. However, I bought a few pairs of skinny’s to test out the look and let me tell you, I struggled! I’ve had them for about a year and I just could not get with the look. I thought they made my feet look like boats! I also do not like the way they feel on my skin. I tend to like clothes that I can move around in more. So this is how they looked on me…
This flare shirt is amazing! Got it from Dillards for $14.
This pic looks a bit funny to me!
Jeans sold at Kohls $10
Nine West Sandals- real leather
So I tried. All in all, I think that they are ok, but I definitely have to be in a playful mood to wear skinny jeans! I have found that wearing them with tunics or longer sweaters is a MUST for me! Any other way, I cannot tolerate them. Here are some other cuts of jeans.
Multi Color Fabric- sort of a sweater material. I use this as the outer layer of fabric in the next pic. I purchased the fabric from JoAnn’s.
Two fabrics, wrapped into a crown… the brown you see on top is NOT my hair. It is a brown fabric.
You can try something like this if you want to wrap a fabric around your long hair
Solange (vocal artist) used a turban-style wrap If you ever see a fabric like this, buy it! It is beautiful.
A bit lighter, if it helps you to see better…
Head wrapping is becoming increasingly popular. I say go for it! I love to wrap my hair and no, it has nothing to do with a bad hair day! Depending upon what city you are in, people may look at you weird, but who cares! Wear that wrap! I wear them to work and for play. I can make them look classy or fun! If you are out and you see a cool fabric on sale, buy it! Your wrap does not have to necessarily match what you have on. I like to tastefully mix patterns. It adds life to any outfit. Keep in mind, I have shorter hair, so NO, you do not have to have long hair in order to wear a wrap.
I think my thrift store outfit turned out pretty good! It was priced at $8.00 but I had a 50% off coupon, so for $4, I got this beautiful suit. The skirt is connected to the shirt. The zipper runs up the back and the skirt has a slit which is also in the back. The suit is a vintage item. The label says K.C. Spencer by Chelsea Rousso who was a pretty popular designer in the 90s. Her designs seemed to be more commercial than boutique exclusive. The label says dry clean only, but I actually hand-washed and ironed it myself. I think it held up pretty well. However, I noticed that a lot of black and red dye came out when I washed it. This did not damage the suit. I assume that it had not been washed in water before. Well, I think it looks nice… although next time, I won’t wear that bracelet. The earrings are actually pretty cool (from Icing by Claire’s). I’ve had those shoes for a while but I’m thinking, I probably got them from Marshall’s. Next time, I would wear a solid black sandal.
India.Arie delivered this message to the world back in 2002 and the message still resonates in my heart. This was so real. While at work yesterday, a friend of mine was called “nappy-headed” by a woman who was trying to insult her. Sadly, the woman was of the same ethnicity as my friend. This goes to show how much people hate themselves. She was hating on my friends hair when she has the same type of hair! … or something close. Listen to the lyrics from both Akon and India Arie in the video below. They are wonderful… read on…
My friend wears a crown of beautiful kinky tresses. I wish I had her hair! Every time I see her, I always stop in awe. She does really great styles with braids, twists, Afros, and sometimes, she just lets it go. The woman was attempting to insult my friend out of hate for her OWN SELF. That woman should love her kinky hair! Ladies, we have got to do better! We hate on one another so much! We are slaves to a FALSE representation of “beauty.” It amazes me when a woman of African descent uses the word “nappy” in a derogatory manner.
Love my hair, no matter what the length. I especially love my texture.
Love my kinky hair
Then, earlier this week at work, I was speaking with an older lady who is also of African descent. She says to me that God really did us wrong by giving us the type of hair we have. “Us” means African Americans. I was confused because I wear my hair natural and have been for most my life. That day, I had on a headwrap. She knows that I love naturally-textured hair and she said this. I had to remove myself from the conversation. However, I did say to her that I absolutely LOVE my hair and I thank my God for making me exactly what I am. God didn’t make any mistakes on me!
I loVe LoVe my hair, my skin, my lips, my hips, and I like me just the way I am- NOT TRYING TO CHANGE MY APPEARANCE FOR NO MAN or WOMAN. I refuse to hide behind wigs and tracks and relaxers and any of that. It’s all used for decoration, but it doesn’t define me. It does not mean that I am afraid to wear my own. I felt sorry for this woman who always covers her hair. I have never seen her real hair! Hopefully one day, she will wake up.
So thank you, India, for giving your perspective on hair. I am not my hair. I am not my skin, or any of your expectations! I am Queen, beholder of High Esteem! I am the Fifth Element, like quicksilver, so smooth, I slip through. I AM WHAT I AM.
Love My Hair… I’ve had many styles and I loved them all
Queen Duafe for African Essence
P.S. Need books to read? Been flipping through these books. Check them out.
Going Natural: How to Fall in Love With Nappy Hair by Mireille Liong-A-Kong
I was surfing the net and I came across some great websites for women of color. The first website is actually www.womenofcolorfoundation.com. It primarily focuses on African-American, Asian, Hispanic, and Native American women. The foundation facilitates conferences that help with networking, mentoring, and professional development. You may find it of interest.
Then I found some wonderful websites on hair styling. Women of color tend to have the most beautifully textured hair in the world. These websites have exceptional information and pictures on styling ideas for women who choose to wear their hair in its natural state. If you committ to growing your hair the natural way, this is what you can expect.
I found this article to be interesting. I was unaware that this was taking place. The sexual exploitation of brown people continues to plague this world. Why do people have to be treated a certain way because of their skin color! This hurts. I am so tired of feeling this way. Always having to be on guard because of my skin color. God, please!
National Geographic nudity (1896- ), also known as tribal nudity, is where National Geographic shows the bare breasts and penises of brown-skinned people but not those of whites. It has been well-known for this since the 1960s, though the practice goes back to 1896.
Apart from pornography, it is rare for a mass-market American magazine to show the bare breasts or penis of anyone of any race. National Geographic is the main exception. It gets away with it in the name of science, of showing Americans the world as it truly is.
But this love of truth only extends to black and brown people, particularly the “tribal” people of Africa, Australia, the Pacific and Amazonia. In the early 1900s Latina and Arab women also appeared bare-breasted – erotically so. All in all, pretty much the same sort of people who appeared in human…
Earth & Ether 