I Am Not My Hair

India.Arie delivered this message to the world back in 2002 and the message still resonates in my heart. This was so real. While at work yesterday, a friend of mine was called “nappy-headed” by a woman who was trying to insult her. Sadly, the woman was of the same ethnicity as my friend. This goes to show how much people hate themselves. She was hating on my friends hair when she has the same type of hair! … or something close. Listen to the lyrics from both Akon and India Arie in the video below. They are wonderful… read on…

My friend wears a crown of beautiful kinky tresses. I wish I had her hair! Every time I see her, I always stop in awe. She does really great styles with braids, twists, Afros, and sometimes, she just lets it go. The woman was attempting to insult my friend out of hate for her OWN SELF. That woman should love her kinky hair! Ladies, we have got to do better! We hate on one another so much! We are slaves to a FALSE representation of “beauty.” It amazes me when a woman of African descent uses the word “nappy” in a derogatory manner.


Love my hair, no matter what the length. I especially love my texture.


Love my kinky hair

Then, earlier this week at work, I was speaking with an older lady who is also of African descent. She says to me that God really did us wrong by giving us the type of hair we have. “Us” means African Americans. I was confused because I wear my hair natural and have been for most my life. That day, I had on a headwrap. She knows that I love naturally-textured hair and she said this. I had to remove myself from the conversation. However, I did say to her that I absolutely LOVE my hair and I thank my God for making me exactly what I am. God didn’t make any mistakes on me!

I loVe LoVe my hair, my skin, my lips, my hips, and I like me just the way I am- NOT TRYING TO CHANGE MY APPEARANCE FOR NO MAN or WOMAN. I refuse to hide behind wigs and tracks and relaxers and any of that. It’s all used for decoration, but it doesn’t define me. It does not mean that I am afraid to wear my own. I felt sorry for this woman who always covers her hair. I have never seen her real hair! Hopefully one day, she will wake up.

So thank you, India, for giving your perspective on hair. I am not my hair. I am not my skin, or any of your expectations! I am Queen, beholder of High Esteem! I am the Fifth Element, like quicksilver, so smooth, I slip through. I AM WHAT I AM.


Love My Hair… I’ve had many styles and I loved them all

Queen Duafe for African Essence

P.S. Need books to read? Been flipping through these books. Check them out.

Going Natural: How to Fall in Love With Nappy Hair

Going Natural: How to Fall in Love With Nappy Hair by Mireille Liong-A-Kong


Better Than Good Hair: The Curly Girl Guide to Healthy, Gorgeous Natural Hair!

Better Than Good Hair by Nikki Walton