She had a right to choose her husband carefuLLy, by God she was gifted “free wiLL.” … or by Nature, or by the Universe, or by ALLah, or Jesus (however you need to say it to understand)…
… it was her vocation to choose, to ascend in her attractions, and not be drugged down. By mis-understandings, kicks to the crouch, she no Longer needed to sink into the immoraL behaviors of the forLorn, of her forLorn seLf.
If she was doing it, if she was choosing it, it was a means to an end. The end is aLways the beginning… I’m getting back to my roots. and “she” is me.
And I am her. I’m nothing at aLL, but Spirit. The journey is in the Spirit.
A sentence from my favorite book…
“She had a wiLL to try out every stratagem to see what changes wouLd be necessary under what conditions, what changes in the paths of the hunt for what different, larger, swifter or sLyer animaLs…“
TransLation: She was determined to experiment with different strategies to discover the necessary changes for hunting various types of animals, whether they were larger, faster, or more cunning.
She wanted every hunting principLe extended to her. Every reLigion understood.
“I cannot condemn you for where you stand, I just want to know that you understand.”
–shila iris
… and furthermore,
Then, when ShiLa was possessor of the art of hunting she further discomfited her teachers by reminding them aggressive hunting is AGAINST “our way”… that the proper use of hunting skiLLs shouLd be for haLting the aged Lion seeking human prey in its dangerous impotence, for stopping the wiLd hog prowling about the growing farm, for teaching the sideLong hyena to keep it’s distance, NOT for wanton pLeasure.
I Like to be aLone so I can dance I Like to be aLone so I can dance I Like to be aLone so I can dance
Don’t need a crew of you to teLL me what I can do
don’t want to Laugh out Loud don’t want to be in a crowd
just want to dance, I just want to dance
I just want to dance, just want to dance just want to dance, I just want to dance
p.s. as I abandon more and more of the images and concepts of ordinary Language, I know that there is something beyond logic and reasoning that I cannot see, things that cannot be Learned in schooLs or even in shrines, tempLes, churches, synagogues, or mosques- meaning there is no one particuLar Location for education. It’s everywhere. I had to be soooooo very siLent to even gain a LittLe bit of exposure to the onLy AbsoLute. I’m Listening, Less speaking. I’m open to it. The onLy AbsoLute.
Yet, I am gratefuL for the experiences of the houses of worship, there is something to be said about congregated energy directed towards something. You better dance!
… for me [insert God, insert friend, insert Lover, insert Father, insert husband, insert brother] [insert you] [insert the Source of Life] [insert what is cLosest to your heart] [insert the Holy Ghost] [insert femaLe] [insert Buddha] [insert Krsna] [insert Vishnu] [insert Jesus] [insert Jah] [insert ALLah] [insert whatever is moving you] [cuz you came from the same pLace I came from] [we are One]
CLear the way. You wiLL know better, after.
shiLa iris
P.S. Spectator or pLayer. Make a move, cuz, I know where I Been, I been with you, You. Better after?
everything I write, don’t read it fast, read it sLow. I can teLL when you have.
I received a Letter from Him, in His own handwriting.
Somehow, he is so deserving of my Love?
Hmmmmm. Mmmmmm. Let me think about that.
4:44, Less than 90 Degrees
ShiLa Iris P.S. My present temper…
this is not just a faLse pretense. There is so much more to this story. Years of respect and patience surface.
He asks questions that matter. Even those that don’t.
I excavate, I dig.
I’m Listening. Becuz such simpLe things Leave imprints. He is the most gaLLant Man I know. With the most integrity. He has moraLs and exercises his wiLL with exceLLent discrimination.
As I change, as I fLow.
I am teLLing you how to save her. How to save YOU. PLease do.
He took time to get it right What does that mean? Hmmmm.
… that I Lay on my Left arm and he Lay on his right, beside me, we faced one another SiLentLy he stared… siLentLy I stared…
I was patient. I onLy spoke when necessary… I became his patient. He had to figure out why I was so sick which meant he had to figure out the cause of his own dis-ease
I Let time stand stiLL for a moment, so that he couLd see…
I chanted siLentLy in the depths of my being, cheer-Leaded taLked in the soft and soLemn voice of a mother, even reminded him of his Father…
“you got this, you can do it, study, Listen, study, Listen, Learn to read, tap into your sLeep, wake up.”
He created time He Learned how to Listen to me, even when my Lips weren’t moving.
He Learned how to hear me so weLL that geneses, reveLations and epiphany’s cLairvoyantLy began to move him… in a path, right towards me.
He stopped hoLding back.
He Learned to unfoLd himseLf inside of me, with no contact, but very near Touching is beyond the physicaL body, so he Learned how to move me because to TOUCH is to move energy, to manipuLate time and space
Looking into my eyes, he studied himseLf he Learned that I had eyes aLL over my body, every orifice, every opening was an eye
He knew aLL the things that I wanted to say, needed to say So, he danced, two-stepped in my fLow, with this divine knowLedge
He waited for nothing, the moment was now he jumped in the deep end to retrieve his own femininity, which was me… isn’t this what a wife is? Isn’t that how you save a Life? Save yours? Isn’t a husband the extreme of my own mascuLinity?
I am married to my heaLing seLf, myseLf heaLed my mascuLinity, my femininity in baLance, Like a trinity… the HoLy Spirit is an intravenous drip of experience Living inside of me, the other side of me, the side of me that you cannot perceive with an iris (be quiet)
I was gratefuL, at peace. He said, “you are so Loud!” and my Lips weren’t moving at aLL, and I was wearing aLL bLack. the coLor of our Universe, standing stiLL.
he said I was screaming, whispering saying everything and nothing at aLL …
But, I onLy spoke when necessary, though, in his mind, I was constantLy speaking constantLy teLLing him the truth, quietLy, showing him the other side of the Moon, taking him so cLose to the Sun
to God,
for without knowing this Source presence in the center of the Earth, without being aware of THE thing which we aLL orbit …
He’d have to find it, he’d have to see it, he’d have to remember GOD, Like in aLL the Legends and in aLL the myths.
QuietLy, I waited as he re-membered God.
I’d find it hard to beLieve, that a person could ever truLy Love me, without Loving and knowing the eLements that unfoLD inside of them.
I know the story of God’s existence on aLL the continents, in aLL the Languages. I’ve been Listening. I Listen (in the smoke, to the cLouds) God is many things, on many PLanets, in aLL the gaLaxies, God is aLL the Suns, and aLL the Moons, every star, in many forms, but with no form at aLL, nameLess…
no face, just omni presence, the greatest gift, aLL-encompassing, spinning around.
I am spinning too..
I can hear her. In siLence…
in a crowded room. I can hear Him.
JusLisen.
* by shiLa iris *
He took time to get it right. What does that mean?
Time is but a moment, it took him a moment.
“I know God, everything is a fLash.”
P.S. … Let me whisper this to you, in the voice you can hear:
Waves when we Tooooouch, rippLing in, soft on the mouth, sweeter than… I need to Lay out, Sun on my faaaaaace, need aLL your Loooooove, right now, don’t need to wait …
start with my hand, on your skin onLy a touch, and we get into it don’t need to rush, it never endddddds.
it is my vocation to turn your insides out… you gotta reaLLy know God to understand this… don’t you know? The gravity of it aLL... crescent to fuLL.
Each step towards me, is a step towards yourseLf. Don’t you know?
I decided that I wanted to know him. He decided that he wanted to know me. Attraction, truth, makes he and I stand stiLL. We move.
There are some women that love to see me coming, there are some that don’t.
Wherever you fall between these extremes,
I can see you, and I feel you.
No hard feelings, at all. Light and Lovely,
as the seed from which I came, … the roots that burrow deep towards the center of the Earth, the water that falls, telling the stories of my creation, nourishing, the roses that bloom…
“They climb stairwells and ladders to explore the depths of her mind.
They feed from her being on the bottom only to realize that they exalt her, to the most high.”
Earth & Ether 