This is Oprah on the cover of the September 2013 issue of The Oprah Magazine. I am really digging her boldness these days. She is fun, open, and risky! That is a great way for a woman of her age to be- ageless at heart! The point of it all: Tressed to Impress, all about the hair. I really just think that she is visually showing what it feels like to experiment with and to explore hair. I love the textured fro. Beyonce’s stylist allowed her to borrow it and it weighs in at 3.5 lbs. Wow! It is reminiscent of Chaka Khan, Diana Ross, and Ms. Badu:
Diana Ross
Diana Ross
Chaka Khan
Chaka Khan
Chaka Khan
Erykah Badu with Chaka Khan
Erykah performing a tribute to Chaka
Love it!
Esperanza Spalding’s lovely big fro’
Oprah says that she wish this wig were her own hair. I love it! She talks about hair because she wants to know why it has such a hold on women. I agree. Oddly, I asked my friend yesterday what he thought about my hair over the phone. I dyed my hair and the roots had begun to show and I wanted to know what he thought about that. He said to me: you are focusing too much on it! You have good taste and it’s beautiful any way you wear it. I believed him. He isn’t shallow at all (but he cannot stand weave!). I could come out any way that I pleased and he would not care. Gotta love a good friend! This is the biggest my hair has been. I only wore it like this for a photo shoot. I couldn’t handle it the next day day. The Afro pics were of me in Vegas at an NBA party! It was so much fun!
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Well, I believe that the hair/head is a crown and it should be cared for with love, but, if it becomes consuming then think about a cut! For me, hair is most beautiful in its natural texture. Not chemically processed or dyed. What you were born with is what you must love. Everything else is just temporary decoration. Colors and weaves should not define a woman. We must show our own hair and love it. I love my bush. Do you?
The Kush Queen aka Queen Duafe aka Shila Iris aka ishilai aka The Fifth Element for African Essence Blog
I woke up this morning from a dream that was disturbing, yet liberating! Different people in my life that had once held me back, were drowning in a gigantic cesspool of chaos. I had the ability to save them, but I let them drown. I am excited about this message because I don’t often understand my dreams and I end up ignoring them. However, this dream said to me that it is time to save myself. I have been trying to save others, meantime losing sight of my own purpose. I am here for me right now and I am not afraid to find the space that I need to survive.
This past summer, I got a lot of complaints from my family and some friends about my presence in their lives. After hearing these complaints, I spent a lot of time trying to work out what they needed from me in my mind. I could not stand that they were crying about my absence, never stopping to ask me if I was doing OK! Instead they selfishly complained and tried to place the blame in my lap, saying and actually believing that I must have a problem with them. That was such BS. For years I was the person in my family and in my friends lives that would pick up and travel to see them. That is the only way that we saw each other. Not once did I complain about them not coming to see me. I gladly went to meet them where they were rather it be Atlanta, Baltimore or the other side of the city, I was the one “showing up!” Now that I need space to clarify my life, all of sudden I am a villain. Please!
The gist of the disagreements was that I don’t come around anymore. My response: deal with it! I am going through some things and that does not mean that you should not call or keep me in the loop. It just means that I am not going to be the initiator all the time! If you want me somewhere, put in that same effort that I put in when I was coming to see you. Damn! Get off my back! Understand that I used to be a princess, but now I am a Queen and you must let me take the throne in the only way I know how. Let me grow at my own pace.
Peace and love,
The Kush Queenfor African Essence
P.S. “You are a first lady worthy of a king” they say. Well let me make my life better, let me find what it is I need to survive. I am not in a place where I have a lot of time & $ to play. However, when you want to hang out, just call. I have to plant the seeds if I want to harvest the fruit. All I want is peace.
There are so many beautiful women singing beautiful music! I love it. I am so high on this song. A friend of mine suggested this and I am so glad that he did! This song reminds of a time in my life when I was truly alone, but not lonely. I needed to be alone. I was a young (er) woman, growing and learning and in need of solitude. Thank you Ntjam for the great vibes.
I used to hear music like this in my mind when I lived in DC. I would ride the Metro around the entire city until I got tired.
Queen for African Essence
P.S. Looking for a book to read? I came across this book on Toure’s website. I really want to check it out. The story sounds so interesting: Soul City by Toure.
I wish I didn’t feel it, but I do. I wish I didn’t see it, but I see. I wish I wasn’t a victim of racism, but I am! You have no idea how many tears have fallen from my eyes. I am human. -Queen
I am in great anticipation of the new film from Director Lee Daniels, The Butler. It has quite a few great actors and actresses, among them, Oprah and Forest Whitaker. I read the recent article in Parade magazine which features commentary from the director and star characters. They discuss what the movie means to them and why the story needs to be told.
I love this pic of the two of them! photo by Michael Edwards.
In the interview, Oprah had so many hard-hitting points on racism and history and I commend her for using such powerful words. We need to hear people speak up because somehow, we are hiding from the past and allowing it to fade away. Meantime, we still experience racism every single day. In America, it is deeply embedded into our laws and codes of conduct, education system, entertainment and athletic industry, and I see and feel it all the time. No, it’s not paranoia. I experience it from looks, to blatant disrespect from people who refuse to accept African Americans no matter what. They scream diversity and multiculturalism, all the while referring to brown people in a derogatory manner and thinking very stereotypical and hateful thoughts about them as well.
We are told to “get over it” and to “move on”, all the while, being denied decency because America has yet to get over it! We are belittled and accused of pulling the “race card” whenever we choose to speak up about unfair treatment. If there was no card, we would not have one to pull. Whose deck are we playing with? Yes, racist America’s. So just as soon as America stops dealing these race cards, the sooner we’ll stop pulling them! We are told how we should feel by people who do not have our best interests in mind. We suffer from mis-education and from poverty which makes it hard for even the “educated” to survive.
We are encouraged to hate ourselves by giving in to lightened images that depict someone other than us. We are manipulated into spiritual, physical, and financial debt from thousands of years of scars from America’s antagonism of what we really are. Brown people have been bamboozled and we remain weak because every time that we have been strong enough to rise, we have been murdered- lynched, shot, and stabbed. Communities burned down, bombed, and torn apart. We are told not to blame anyone but ourselves for our transgressions. However,I have played the game by their standards, and by my own, and have received the same treatment. It is hard being what I am. I am statistically defined before I come out of the starter block, but yet like Maya, I still rise!
The good thing is, I still have love to give and freedom to fight for. I get stronger.
*** I really love how Oprah comes so hard and real in this interview! First of all, Oprah said she received the offer to do the movie while standing on “her” mountain in Maui. I thought this was a play on words, but she actually has a mountain! I don’t often keep up with the material possessions of Hollywood, but that is pretty deep. Alrighty then!
She talks about the use of the word NIGGA which I absolutely loved. Her words:
“You cannot be my friend and use that word around me. It shows my age, but I feel strongly about it.”
Personally, I don’t get why people are so adamant in using this stupid word! I have had many a debate about it and it ends ridiculously. Some of my favorite artists use the word and it makes me skip the track on days when I just can’t handle it. It is not a friendly word for me. Oprah goes on to say:
“I am a student of history. I grew up knowing where I’ve come from. When you fully get that, it’s hard to be loose-lipped with that word.”
Forest Whitaker:
“I don’t use the word, never did.”
Oprah has challenged Jay-Z on the use of the word and she proudly defends her stance. Yes! I get it.
Director Lee Daniels shared the film with his family in July and his 30-year-old nephew said to him:
“Did some of this stuff really happen?” Daniels admitted that he was very upset. Oprah says that young people today don’t know diddly-squat about the civil rights movement (history). I agree. I work around young people every day who KNOW NOTHING! I find that amazing. A 30-year-old not knowing… that’s horrible! I will be turning 30 soon and I know all about history from the obvious to the hidden. Hmmm. I grew up in Cleveland if that helps? I went to Fisk...? As far back as I can remember existed inside of me a yearning to want to know the truth about who and what I am. However, his nephew does not surprise me. So many people my age know nothing about THEMSELVES. We have become this “other man” who is complacent with the lies we are taught. Honestly, I am not political, pushy, or disrespectful- just proud of my heritage. However, I have noticed that because of the way I speak, with confidence and knowledge, some dubb me negatively. I only try to share what I know as the truth in the most constructive manner possible, and if there is no desire to know from the other party, I walk. I walk a lot. People are comfortable in the Matrix.
Whitaker shares his experiences:
“I’ve had many incidents in my life of racism. I’ve been thrown on the ground. I’ve been frisked. I’ve been arrested so many times I couldn’t tell you. I have no need to talk about it… The movie deals with valuation of life, too. Like whose life is valuable? Is it ok to take life?”
He is speaking about people like Oscar Grant and Trayvon Martin. He goes on to make an excellent point:
“If you can’t accept that these things are going on, you’re living an illusion. So the question at this point is more of, how can we move the needle forward? Can we speak up? I think this film helps that in some way… and it’s not just the Black culture; we have to look at ourselves as global citizens and what’s happening to people all over the world.”
Oprah:
“Are more people judged by the content of their character than by the color of their skin? Yes. Is everybody judged by the content of their character? Absolutely not.”
I was very pleased with the article by Katherine Heintzelman. Sometimes I feel completely exhausted with having to fight fight fight. I feel like fighting for my rights has taken time away from many other things in life that I could have been successful with. I wish I had time and expenses to travel and speak many languages and be connected with nature without having to live in such a toxic world. I wish I did not have to spend so much time mentally preparing so that when I am around certain people and groups I don’t have to get angry or lose it when they make bottomless racist remarks! Oh how I wish I had the freedom to just be me and to never have to worry about how people are going to look at me. I wish I hadn’t had to cry all those nights because a man or woman from a different race disrespected me or looked at me a certain way often times with hate and jealousy. I wish I didn’t feel it, but I do. I wish I didn’t see it, but I see. I wish I wasn’t a victim of racism, but I am! You have no idea how many tears have fallen from my eyes, wind knocked right out of me with ill remarks. All the while, all I can think is: I am a human creation of God. Why?
Queen Duafe for African Essence
P.S. I cried right when I finished this. But like always, I have to pick myself up. I am going to listen to Gaelle’s Fade Away because I can relate. Make sure you listen to the lyrics. Then I’ll probably listen to E. Badu’s Drama and Lauryn Hill’s I Get Out because I stay grounded in this music. Father, free from this bondage, knowing my condition, is the reason I must change!
I just want to make an announcement about people who have visited and commented on my blog. I really thank you all for visiting my “art space” and making suggestions and just showing so much love. Many of you have sent positive vibrations my way on a regular, but much to my amazement, I wasn’t getting the comment notifications!
Why I am posting this? I hadn’t realized it, but it turns out that wordpress has blocked over 700 comments from users and readers of African Essence. These comments date back to 2012 and they were sent to a folder marked “SPAM” for various reasons. I am saddened that I missed out on so much positive feedback! There are too many comments to weed through, but I did check the most recent one’s from July. I have responded to those comments on various articles which can be found in my archives.
If you ever posted a comment and I did not respond, I apologize. I take this blog very seriously and I hope you come back soon. I have corrected the problem with the SPAM so PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTINUE TO COMMENT AND SEND SUGGESTIONS.
So I was out and I picked up the new Black Hair Fashion Beauty Style August/September 2013 Magazine because Janelle Monae is on the cover. Of course she is sitting lovely in her black and white. I really like her.
I can’t believe she has a new video out and I didn’t know! I always love the creativity, the flare and the boldness of Janelle. I also dig that she has really attractive female energy in her videos and she isn’t afraid to dance crazy. Furthermore, my favorite video from her remains to be Many Moons. I also adore Tightrope and Q.U.E.E.N. Go Janelle!
Dance Apocalyptic by Janelle Monae
Gotta include my Many Moons!
Review of the Black Hair Magazine:
I really think that the editor is cool and I am glad Black Hair got someone that we could relate to! Her name is Keysha Davis. This issue of Black Hair features fearless women who wouldn’t even give a second thought to other peoples’ opinions of them, Keysha quotes. She says that Monae is one of the most brave, creative, and free-spirited artists of her generation. I really dug the interview! It was cool to know that Janelle wrote and produced Erykah Badu’s part in her song Q.U.E.E.N. I like that she was open and honest. I did not know she was only 24, though. I thought she was in her later 20s.
Words that I took away from the interview:
QUESTION: What do you do when you’re not Janelle Monae the artist, and the persona we know you for?
JANELLE’S ANSWER: I love laughing, I love art, I love discussion and stimulating conversation where I’m learning things. I like hanging with people who speak different languages. I am just a sponge for knowledge. I swim in my tuxedo, I walk with monkeys, I kiss tigers, I do lots of different things. I have tea with bumblebees. … sounds like something I would say!
I also like her dedication to expressing herself and her femininity in a respectful manner as opposed to the get naked get rich fast model. She is all about respecting her Queendom and redefining what it means to be a woman. She say’s that she wants young girls with natural hair to know that they can be Cover Girl’s too. What a lady! That is what it’s about- being comfortable with what God gave you! She is super cool. She ended the interview by saying she uses as many natural products as possible like raw Shea butter from Ghana. That’s what we do, right? Gotta love Janelle Monae!
As to the rest of the Aug/Sept issue of Black Hair… it was cool. Black Hair is a nice magazine because it is modern with great photography and many style variations. The images normally look really nice and the women and men are not air brushed to plastic! Definitely realistic photos which oddly is not common in mags today.
They have lots of info on weaves and honestly, it is always hard for me to embrace features focusing on weave because I see women hiding behind false hair and using it as definition rather than adornment. Weave can be beneficial in transitioning processes and to use as decoration from time to time. It should not be our everyday mask. We have to learn to let our own hair down! However, this issue had the TOP AFRO TRENDS. There were only a few in the article, but the pages from the issue that I really liked are: Black Hair.
I am posting these pages just to let you all get an idea of what Black Hair looks like inside. Not too many people know about it, but if I had to choose a “black hair” mag, this is definitely the best. I am hoping that the posting of these pages do not constitute any form of infringement. I do not stand to make a profit and this is in promotion of Black Hair! I want people to try it! (page 44 was my fav!)
I really like Natalie Stewarts’ poetry. I prefer this type of deliverance more than others such as slam or spoken word. This is slow and sensual, allowing us to think and grasp the words. I dig.
Being Free – It’s Poetry
The reality is that sometimes I am open
I am open to the world around me
The people I see inspire me to be the best that I can be
I am open to the man or the woman that is aware of my love vibrations
Understanding that I am not moved by lust or lack of trust
I am moved by the soul acceptance and the humility that oozes out of your heart
Judged mistakes make it seem like you think that you are better than me
It’s a sad reality that you choose to be bothered by my freedom
Your troubled glances, take me out of my natural high trances and you leave me wanting to abandon your community
I want to be so far away from your ego and your drunken stupors that I am willing to leave it all behind
Just so that I can breath
Mother nature is calling me and urging me to spread my wings
But I am here, trying to fight and win back the time when I was your native queen
My heart is not under lock and key
My mind is not hard to decipher for the person that is meant for me
I respect myself, I respect my growth, I respect the yellow brick road that goddess has paved for me. My journey is golden no matter how low I am or how high
It’s all a part of the beautiful image of me that sits on your mantelpiece
If I never told you this, let me be clear what I am and what I am not
I am water
I am constantly flowing creating a vortex around the minds of people who choose to receive me
I am not too proud yet I do not possess low esteem
I am well versed on where I come from and I intend to share that world with anyone who crosses my path
I am uncompromising when it comes to my values and I will not be told that I am anything less than great
I am the spitting image of what it means to be human
I am good I am bad I am love I am hate
I use the scales to weigh the situations that bind my mind
I get confused when you decide to use me and walk all over my ability to remove myself from harm and chaos
I am not a cheerleader, I am more like a friend who is not afraid to tell you that you are wrong and dead wrong and you need to go home, maybe be alone
to reflect on what it is you really want
I don’t want to drag my feet across filthy floors and be defined by my ability to please you, and inability to see you through a storm that might last forever
I don’t want to scream and shout about love, there should be no doubt
I don’t want to paint beautiful pictures of people who cannot see me, will not see, and refuse to stop killing me over and over and over, it’s not softly
It hurts to be stabbed and jabbed with words that are meant to pierce my soul and destroy my freedom
I do not comprehend waiting, when momentum is now
I am not interested in missing any chances I have to eat, pray, and love
If I am not eating with you and if I am praying with you than love is cancelled out and it’s time to move on
I am not easy in any manner and I am not unreasonable banter
I am just a woman who is interested in the real thing
I am going to be 30 pretty soon and at least 20 people have asked me about having children. Whenever my age comes up, this is the first thing that people inquire about! Everyone wants to know about my marital status and my desires to start a family. Very rarely do people ask if I am happy with the work that I do or if I have good health. The only thing people seem to care about with this 29 year old girl is rather I am going to start having babies! Well I am not!
I am finding it hard to endure this sense of urgency and pressure that people are putting on me to have children right now! Honestly, I do not desire to have a child at the current moment and I am not the type of person who has dreamed of being married with children since I was a little girl. I have dreams more like Martin Luther King, Jr. I am sure the experience of having a child is wonderful, but I am in a different place. I do not need a child to define what I am as a woman. What I really need in my life is peace. Without it, I cannot imagine ever having a child.
Finding peace is my number one goal in life. I need to be able to live with who I am and get the best out of all of my experiences. I want to do other things so that if I ever have a child, I would be able to share my wonderful life with them via travel, education, and spirituality. My journey has only begun. If I do not have a child, then I will continue to share these things with my nieces and nephews. So to everyone that cannot help but to worry about what is going to happen to 30 year old Shila, you can just stop it! What I want is to stand on solid ground. Everything else will come naturally.
I cannot live up to anyone’s expectations, not even my own sometimes. So I would love it if everyone could just chill. It almost seems like people pity me for being childless. It’s like they ridicule my freedom. Not to say that children take away all freedom, but this is the tone in which people speak to me.
However, life is a beautiful thing and I appreciate everything that happens to me. I can appreciate the “warnings” but I do not feel threatened by age. I feel enlightened and mature! I am not afraid of 30. When I was 25, two different doctors advised that I start having children then. They made it sound like if I didn’t start soon, my chances of miscarriage would be high. This may be true, but WHAT IF I am just a healthy person? Let’s focus on that! I always wondered why they had to make my life sound like a ticking time bomb.
I feel like turning 30 will be the beginning of another beautiful phase in my life and I am ready to learn and just have fun with it. I have noticed changes in my metabolism and I have gained a little weight- I am the heaviest that I have ever been in my life. I noticed that any extra pounds I pick up are gathering in my midsection and thighs. All I can do is work harder at eating right and exercising (so, no I am not pregnant to the people who asked!).
Frankly, I am so excited to be getting away from the turbulent twenties. I feel like moving on. I am ready to accept everything that comes with age rather it be weight or peace. I was speaking with someone about looks and she spoke to me as if my body changes had to be a negative thing. Why would I expect to have the same body as I did when I was younger? I am not interested in looking like a plastic magazine cover either. I want to be naturally me. Furthermore, I am fond of moderation so I will not watch myself become too much of anything if I can help it. Turning 30 does not mean that I can start overeating and destroying my body. I want to stay healthy. I know plenty of sistahs who are in their 40s, 50s, and 60s who look amazing.
My girl Rashimba Bloom is looking good in her late 30s!
I do not fear looking older. I just do not see myself letting go and becoming desperate for a relationship or for a man. I am not interested in the older man who chases after younger women purposefully as if older women have nothing he desires. I figure, let the younger women have him, because I don’t want an immature man like that. My mind operates a little differently. I am prone to move towards a person out of love and not lust.
Also, I have noticed that I feel differently about many things; but I can control my anxiety and levels of stress better than I ever have. My hair is different, my mind is different, and my spirit is ever evolving! That is what I care about. Not the simple age of 30. The “BIG 3-0″ they say! NO PRESSURE. I am ready to embrace it all! Furthermore, if I get to be 40, and my partner and I decide to have a baby, all we can do is try. There will be no regrets. I am living in this moment right now… and I love it!
Wondering how to wear your NON-FANCY thrift store finds? Check it out. … and if you haven’t ever visited this blog, be sure to check out the ABOUT page aka Details tab at the top.
I love when the sun is out! I live in Midwestern United States where it is cold at least 9 months out of the year. So, when the sun decides to show its face, I am like, here I am, shine down on me! I have to be careful because last year I got my very first sun burn and it wasn’t fun at all! So remember everyone if you are going to be in the sun, for even just a few minutes, rub shea butter on your skin because it is a sun block. You may even want to use something else along with the shea.
My first day in the sun… I bought this outfit from second hand stores.
Clip-on earrings $1.99 from Icing by Claires
Shirt- light-weight sweater material- $4 from Platos Closet
Shirt- Amnerican Eagle Outfitters from Platos Closet $4
Bone bracelets $25- Festival vendor
This denim skirt is from the thrift store for $3. It is a brand I only see at Target. I think it’s cool that it has pockets.
Claires sales ankh rings!
Ankh ring- Claires (clearance price $3.75)
I love this ring, but it’s cheap!
The bone ring on my right hand is from City Buddha of Cleveland Heights. It was $3.95.
I am not sure if you can tell, but this is Revlon black nail polish which I really like. To give it a matte look I used China Glaze matte top coat. It was on sale at Sally’s for $2.50. I got 2 bottles. I am impressed. It is a good top coat. I went without chipped polish for at least two whole days. I’m rough on my hands!
Let me say, I just cut my hair, yet again! I love short hair. It is auburn-colored. I am going to stop using chemical dyes soon and switch to henna dye which is now sold at Whole Foods. I got a cheap $4 dye from Sally’s Beauty (who is Sally?, lol).
SHIRT by American Eagle Outfitters via Plato’s Closet. It is blue and a light-weight sweater material – $4
SKIRT by Mossimo which is a brand only sold at Target via Thrift Store – denim with pockets $3
SANDALS by Kohls – $10
FEATHER EARRINGS from Icing by Claire’s – $1.99
BONE BRACELETS- African street festival – $25
BONE RING- City Buddha in Cleveland Heights, Ohio – $3.95
ANKH RING- Claire’s (in the mall) – $3.75
FINGER NAIL POLISH- Revlon Knockout Color 731 from Walgreen’s – $4; top coat is Matte Magic by China Glaze from Sally’s Beauty Supply – $2.50 on clearance
… these little details won’t matter to the men, but women ask, so there it is!
If you haven’t ever visited this blog, be sure to check out the DETAILS page.
Jambo! I hope you are feeling good today. If you are not, there is still a chance to turn your day around. It starts with you. I suggest using sounds and smells to heighten your senses and lift the vibrations around you. The vibrations around you are the levels of good or bad energy. The higher the vibration, the better off you are. What DO I DO to turn my day around and lift my vibrations? I am glad you asked! My checklist goes like this:
Light some incense- even my friends with asthma use incense. If you are able to find a good brand such as Wild Berry, HEM, or Tulasi- you are in luck. These brands release the longest lasting smells that can linger for hours.
Try having a positive conversation with someone- only talk about the good things that are going on in your life. Try NOT to talk about anything negative and offer no complaints. I love calling my friends that live in other cities. I can have a fresh experience talking to them without having to tell them about anything bad.
Eat a well-balanced meal. I find that eating good food really lifts my spirit. I like spicy fish and veggies, Indian and African dishes, smoothies, coconut ice cream from Trader Joe’s, some meats (not fried). I LOVE GOOD FOOD! Steamed broccoli with garlic and lemon really gives me energy as well as brussel sprouts and kale sauteed in olive oil with garlic and capers. Go green if you are really feeling down.
Get some plants. I find that looking at them lifts my mood. I got some beautiful plants from a garden center. It’s best to go to a real garden center if you are looking for a mature plant (not Wal-Mart or Home Depot). These are my plants:
Golden Pothos- Requires little light and watering only once every 10 days.
Mature Pothos like this look great on top of book shelves.
Sansevieria (aka snake plant) is the easiest house plant to care for, requiring very little attention. This one is very mature.
GOOD MUSIC- if you can find an old album that you really like, listen away! If you want to try something new. Go to YouTube and type in the names of your favorite artists. On the right hand side of the screen, YouTube lists recommendations. A lot of times these recommendations are great! YouTube tries to find other artists that are similar to the one you typed in. I type Sade or Nneka and I get great results. I love 90s music so I type 702 or TLC, and get great results too.
And this brings me to YahZarah! I am so excited to share the music of this wonderful lady. She made her mark performing as a background singer for Erykah Badu (I just learned this). She also sang with a music group called the Foreign Exchange (I remember this). I heard her album The Ballad of Purple St. James and I loved it! The first song is the most inviting. You can use it for various occasions to get a party started! It just makes you want to get up and dance. This is YahZarah:
HAVING A GOOD DAY THE TANTRIC WAY? Check out this video. Pay attention to her altar. Change your day by listening to vibes like this! This made me feel good at a time when I was experiencing a lot of fatigue. I ended up finding it on YouTube by mistake. I watched it 10 times! I was so high. I love it! Furthermore, I am doing research on the Goddess Kali and in this video YahZarah has an image of the Goddess over her altar. Awesome! I admire her movement and confidence. I do not consider her energy strictly sexual. It can be a whole lot of things.
Peace and love,
Queen Duafe for African Essence
P.S. Looking for more information on Tantricism? I found this book to be useful.
Welcome to African Essence. If you haven’t ever visited this blog be sure to check out the Details page.
Today’s style idea is: HOW TO WEAR SKINNY JEANS! I have trouble with this type of jean simply because I prefer a certain cut: straight leg and my favorite is bootcut. However, I bought a few pairs of skinny’s to test out the look and let me tell you, I struggled! I’ve had them for about a year and I just could not get with the look. I thought they made my feet look like boats! I also do not like the way they feel on my skin. I tend to like clothes that I can move around in more. So this is how they looked on me…
This flare shirt is amazing! Got it from Dillards for $14.
This pic looks a bit funny to me!
Jeans sold at Kohls $10
Nine West Sandals- real leather
So I tried. All in all, I think that they are ok, but I definitely have to be in a playful mood to wear skinny jeans! I have found that wearing them with tunics or longer sweaters is a MUST for me! Any other way, I cannot tolerate them. Here are some other cuts of jeans.
Multi Color Fabric- sort of a sweater material. I use this as the outer layer of fabric in the next pic. I purchased the fabric from JoAnn’s.
Two fabrics, wrapped into a crown… the brown you see on top is NOT my hair. It is a brown fabric.
You can try something like this if you want to wrap a fabric around your long hair
Solange (vocal artist) used a turban-style wrap If you ever see a fabric like this, buy it! It is beautiful.
A bit lighter, if it helps you to see better…
Head wrapping is becoming increasingly popular. I say go for it! I love to wrap my hair and no, it has nothing to do with a bad hair day! Depending upon what city you are in, people may look at you weird, but who cares! Wear that wrap! I wear them to work and for play. I can make them look classy or fun! If you are out and you see a cool fabric on sale, buy it! Your wrap does not have to necessarily match what you have on. I like to tastefully mix patterns. It adds life to any outfit. Keep in mind, I have shorter hair, so NO, you do not have to have long hair in order to wear a wrap.
I think my thrift store outfit turned out pretty good! It was priced at $8.00 but I had a 50% off coupon, so for $4, I got this beautiful suit. The skirt is connected to the shirt. The zipper runs up the back and the skirt has a slit which is also in the back. The suit is a vintage item. The label says K.C. Spencer by Chelsea Rousso who was a pretty popular designer in the 90s. Her designs seemed to be more commercial than boutique exclusive. The label says dry clean only, but I actually hand-washed and ironed it myself. I think it held up pretty well. However, I noticed that a lot of black and red dye came out when I washed it. This did not damage the suit. I assume that it had not been washed in water before. Well, I think it looks nice… although next time, I won’t wear that bracelet. The earrings are actually pretty cool (from Icing by Claire’s). I’ve had those shoes for a while but I’m thinking, I probably got them from Marshall’s. Next time, I would wear a solid black sandal.
India.Arie delivered this message to the world back in 2002 and the message still resonates in my heart. This was so real. While at work yesterday, a friend of mine was called “nappy-headed” by a woman who was trying to insult her. Sadly, the woman was of the same ethnicity as my friend. This goes to show how much people hate themselves. She was hating on my friends hair when she has the same type of hair! … or something close. Listen to the lyrics from both Akon and India Arie in the video below. They are wonderful… read on…
My friend wears a crown of beautiful kinky tresses. I wish I had her hair! Every time I see her, I always stop in awe. She does really great styles with braids, twists, Afros, and sometimes, she just lets it go. The woman was attempting to insult my friend out of hate for her OWN SELF. That woman should love her kinky hair! Ladies, we have got to do better! We hate on one another so much! We are slaves to a FALSE representation of “beauty.” It amazes me when a woman of African descent uses the word “nappy” in a derogatory manner.
Love my hair, no matter what the length. I especially love my texture.
Love my kinky hair
Then, earlier this week at work, I was speaking with an older lady who is also of African descent. She says to me that God really did us wrong by giving us the type of hair we have. “Us” means African Americans. I was confused because I wear my hair natural and have been for most my life. That day, I had on a headwrap. She knows that I love naturally-textured hair and she said this. I had to remove myself from the conversation. However, I did say to her that I absolutely LOVE my hair and I thank my God for making me exactly what I am. God didn’t make any mistakes on me!
I loVe LoVe my hair, my skin, my lips, my hips, and I like me just the way I am- NOT TRYING TO CHANGE MY APPEARANCE FOR NO MAN or WOMAN. I refuse to hide behind wigs and tracks and relaxers and any of that. It’s all used for decoration, but it doesn’t define me. It does not mean that I am afraid to wear my own. I felt sorry for this woman who always covers her hair. I have never seen her real hair! Hopefully one day, she will wake up.
So thank you, India, for giving your perspective on hair. I am not my hair. I am not my skin, or any of your expectations! I am Queen, beholder of High Esteem! I am the Fifth Element, like quicksilver, so smooth, I slip through. I AM WHAT I AM.
Love My Hair… I’ve had many styles and I loved them all
Queen Duafe for African Essence
P.S. Need books to read? Been flipping through these books. Check them out.
Going Natural: How to Fall in Love With Nappy Hair by Mireille Liong-A-Kong
Earth & Ether 