In the short time that I’ve experienced your spirit,
I think you’re a pretty dope lady with a lot of power…
Gotta do your thing… breathe. Be free. Outside of sexuality. It’s not about the body, it’s the spirit, made you look! Healing is not about bowing down, it’s about looking up, and accepting the All. I see balance, I see truth. I see myself outside of you. Peace.
I write love poems… or just poems of desire… i desire u
Shila Iris
P.S. My people don’t always wear clothes. We started wearing them to protect ourselves from you, and then, you started selling sex. Look closer.
Reprise: You will feel me everywhere you go. You will taste my skin, I will flow within your memory. You will see me in your dreams. Your heart is weary, and you will be overwhelmed with me. I am a drug. And so are you. We’re in recovery.
“I’m a recovering undercover overlover, recovering from a love I can’t get over. Don’t want to be an addict anymore. Addicts lie, addicts cheat. Addicts run, hide, and live in fear of their next high. Their next high could be you, it could be me, what are you addicted to? I just want some balance. So, I’mma chase the Sun.
He is like sunshine
the light that moves my melanin
offering blessings to my high self
the aloe to my wounds
makes my heart beat fast,
rock steady,
the Sun, Ra, keeps me
smiling like…
She has the glow of the Moon
Protected by his faith
my words dress him,
I leave raw greens on my plate,
cause he eats to survive
concentrating on the stars in my eyes…
He called out to her from a distance and she pretended not to hear him.
Not because she didn’t like the sound of his voice,
but because she did not want him to look into her tear-filled eyes.
He caught her, pulled her towards him and asked her to accept his presence.
She lifted her head to see, the face of the Sun.
The time had come. She smiled. For the rest of the day.
I asked the elders if I could speak freely, and they said, absolutely.
I earned the right to tell my story, for without the element of truth,
it would all be in vain. The generations to follow will hear the sound of
my voice, resounding… cause I need these niggas to turn into gods…
“A single person within a circumstance can move one to change. To love herself. To evolve.” -Erykah Badu
How Can I Say No to Such Beauty?
People grow and seasons change, but remember me. This is a beautiful video. Simple, and true. Being in love requires nakedness, complete vulnerability. Can you do it? I know that you can. Peace and love.
I want to sing with you…
I want to sing to you…
I want to sing about you…
… I just want a chance to fly, to cry…
This was the situation:
Lyrics:
So, presently
I’m standing here right now
You’re so demanding
Tell me what you want from me
Concluding, concentrating
On my music, lover and my babies
Makes me wanna ask the lady
For a ticket outta town
So can I get a window seat?
Don’t want nobody next to me
I just want a ticket outta town
A look around and a safe touch down
Can I get a window seat?
Don’t want nobody next to me
I just want a chance to fly
A chance to cry and a long bye-bye
But I need you to want me
Need you to miss me
I need your attention
I need you next to me
I need someone to clap for me I need your direction Somebody say, come back Come back, baby, come back I want you to need me
Come back, come back, baby, come back
Come back, come back, baby, come back
Come back, come back, baby, come back
So, out my mind I’m tusslin’ Back and forth ‘tween here and hustlin’ I don’t wanna time travel no more I wanna be here, I’m thinking
On this porch I’m rockin’
Back and forth like Lightning Hopkins
If anybody speak to Scotty Tell him, beam me up
… They play it safe, are quick to assassinate what they do not understand. They move in packs, ingesting more and more fear with every act of hate on one another. They feel most comfortable in groups, less guilt to swallow. They are us. This is what we have become. Afraid to respect the individual. A single person within a circumstance can move one to change. To love herself. To evolve.
A NEW HORIZON IS SLOWLY COMING INTO VIEW. Finding solace tonight, I closed my eyes to meditate and this memory came to mind. The year was 1995, and I remember hearing the needle drop onto the vinyl. I knew something good was about to happen. My mother put us to bed, and she and my father convened for their after hours date at the dining room table. They would eat a late dinner, smoke something green, and try to work out their differences. This was their ritual. We children, tucked away in our beds, would drift into Atlantis. The guitar at the beginning always made me feel warm and at peace, like good music does. I soon fell asleep to the sound of my parents muffled voices and the Isley Brothers. These memories are priceless. For a long time, my mom and dad were in love and really good friends. It was beautiful back then, and so simple. They had to divorce after 19 years because of my fathers drug habit, but after he kicked it, they became cool again. I always thought I’d have a friendship like theirs, because in everything there is good. So, with this memory, my tears dry up, and my night fades to black. Peace.
Can I go on my way without you
Oh, how can I know?
If I go on my way without you
Oh, where would I go?
Set sail with me
Misty lady, set my spirit free
New love to find
And though I leave another behind
I’ll always (Come back to you)
She’s my lady, now and ever
Oh, how do I know?
Can we go all the way together
Oh let it be so
So we’ll say our last goodbye
And we’ll make it this time
Hey ho set sail with me
To a paradise out beyond the sea
“I felt like a piece of art, and the fingers of the Sun were sculpting me into an amazing figure.” -Shila Iris
I woke up this morning at 6 a.m. because my Father called. I wasn’t ready to talk to him, but when my Mother called an hour later, I knew that I should talk to one of them. My parents have been separated for the past 17 years, so these calls, coming from different homes scared me a bit. However, I learned that they hadn’t spoken to one another at all. They both just wanted to talk. This felt wonderful, to be thought of by the people who created me, at the same time, but from different places in the world. After talking with my Mother, I walked into my living room, and let the Sun shine on my body. It hit every part of me, and it reminded me of how alive I am. I felt like a piece of art, and the fingers of the Sun were sculpting me into an amazing figure. The Sun is the only one who sees me naked. I got dressed, and walked across the street to the park. I laid in the grass, in the sunshine. Facing the sky with my eyes closed, the music in my heart allowed me to see my way home. Clairvoyance.
I am Alive.
The Healing Ritual: The time I spend alone, has been pretty amazing. Each day has been a roller coaster. There are so many things that run through my mind, but the last thought of each day is, I am so glad to be here, facing my fears. We are always right where we’re supposed to be. Cast your fears aside, and live your wonderful life.
“From where you are, to where I am, I can feel your heart, beat.” -Shila Iris
… and when I opened my eyes, this is the person that walked into my life:
Lyrics:
Far away from that life, so young, that’s when you used to know
Many dreams since then you’ve fed up, come and gone that time might show
But stress, don’t you let it
Don’t you forget it
Trust you’ll find your way to love
Hope is what your heart is made of
And don’t you forget it
Don’t you forget your way home
For that little girl
Hold on to your world
And don’t you forget it
Don’t you forget your way home
For that little girl
Hold on to your world
You’re worlds apart from first when life was dark
Understanding what it means to have got
Nothing but your heavy, broken heart
Memories of what used to be
When change comes responsibility
Don’t forget, where you are, ain’t where you’ve been
Life’s lessons then
Made you into woman
Hold on, hold on… (Yeah oh ooh)
Don’t you be afraid
‘Cause a heart beat away
Is all that you’d never think that sentiment will mean to you
No need to cry
You can dry your eyes
‘Cause you can count on the love that through the years
Helped you face your fears and subside your tears
Everything will be OK
Don’t you be afraid (No)
Don’t you be afraid
No, baby…
Healing Ritual: Lay in the Sun. I got really sick last week. What started as a throat ache turned into 6 days of headaches, sensitivity to light and sound, hunger pains, a constantly running nose, hives, coughing, pure torture! I caught a bug. I took Vitamin C, RAW Multivitamins, and antihistamines to relieve the fever. On day 3, I really needed ginger and soup, so I pulled myself together and went to the store. This made it worse! It’s like I picked up more germs in the store. Later, a friend told me that I should have used Uber. They now deliver food. Maybe in the future, I’ll consider this since I am alone in a new city. Finally, today, I can stand up again. Laying in the Sun really helped. It seemed to rejuvenate my body. I even went to the gym and ran 2 miles! Make sure you use the Sun to heal. Peace.
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” -Rumi
These days, I’m always up late. My universe is shifting. My body is adjusting to this climate, to this environment; to this love, to this voice of reason. I am learning how to accept the truth about life. It’s not always pretty, but if you tell me, I’ll listen. All embracing. Peace and love.
Tonight, I am listening to…
It is the color of light,
The shape of sound high in the evergreens
It lies suspended in hills,
A blue line in a red sky
I am looking at sound
I am hearing the brightness
Of high bluffs and almond trees
I am tasting the wilderness
of lakes, rivers, and streams
Caught in an angle of song
I am remembering water
That glows in the dawn
The motion tumbled in earth
Life hidden in mounds
I am dancing a bright beam of light
I am remembering love
_____________________ poetry can be so liberating
I just want to give you the love that you gave to me when I was in pain. You never let go.
You came around every corner, with a hug and a kiss. You tried to comprehend my numbness. Do you resent me for having a broken heart?
Back in 2009, my girlfriend and I met each other in Atlanta, Georgia for a weekend of fun and to get fitted for bridesmaid dresses. One afternoon, we stumbled upon the art district, Little Five Points and wandered into an attractive shop called Moods Music. I got really excited. This was the first music store I had ever gone to, that catered to my personal tastes. It was amazing! I wanted to buy the entire store, but settled for a really wonderful CD by Quadron and a copy of Wax Poetics Magazine that I cherish to this day with Gil Scott- Heron on the cover. Since I liked this magazine so much, a friend of mine, who has always gotten me the best and most thoughtful gifts, decided to buy me a subscription to Wax Poetics for my birthday. On the cover of the 1st issue I received was Ms. Nina Simone. Reading the article, I fell in love with her spirit. They dubbed her “the Black poetess of protest.” I learned that she was a child piano prodigy, was great friends with Amiri Baraka, Langston Hughes, James Baldwin, Richard Pryor, and Lorraine Hansberry, and that most people who came into contact with her thought she was fearless and revolutionary. They say, Nina Simone didn’t give a fuck, meaning, she was going to do her thing no matter what. I felt like I had a lot of catching up to do on this woman who had an attitude that I could relate to. I wrote and performed a tribute to Nina Simone soon after I read this, and I have listened to her music since, mostly adoring the unconventional sound of her voice and her unapologetic lyrics. We are forever connected, Ms. Simone.
Transformation is possible. He used to be vulgar, ruled by his lower self- arrogant, over-sexed, chasing money, starved for attention, allowing Black life to be dictated to him by non-Black people at his record company. He did this until he knew better. “When you know better, you do better.” In 2017, he is taking a different approach to African consciousness and to Black life.
David Banner is using his charm to resuscitate Black History, and he is striving to help Black people wake up. Willing to meet people where they are, he uses his own life as an example to inspire change. When you have knowledge of self, small distractions like technology, sex, and material possessions fade. Banner doesn’t hide from his past. He acknowledges his own humanity, and takes responsibility for his actions, reminding people to be humble and honest. When you bring up any of his mistakes, he smiles, laughs, and continues on in his evolution. This level of maturity is necessary on the path to transcendence. I have not known about this man for very long, but I am happy to see him boldly taking action. It’s so easy to get caught up in worldliness that weakens the spirit, but at some point we all have to lay our egos to rest so that we can survive. Always in search of good music, I listened to his latest album, The God Box. I love it. I am sending him good vibrations on his journey to push Black people into consciousness.
“I don’t care what you think of me, I just want you to think!”
I guess I’m going through something because I am wide awake and it’s 5 a.m. I don’t need sleep in this season of my life! So, I am here. I loved these two together, the equation was perfect. This song is youthful, and so romantic. I love it!
Tonight, or this morning, this will have to serve as the elixir to put me to sleep.
I am a poet, so these lyrics really reach right into my soul and make me feel soft, like a woman. Lol.
“There is only one for me You have made that possibility We can take that step to see If this is really gonna be…
Loving you has taken time, taken time But I always knew you could be mine I recognize the butterflies, inside me, Uh Since it’s gonna be made tonight, tonight All you gotta do is say yes…”
You are awake too? Peace and Love,
Shila Iris
P.S. This song was written by Marsha Ambrosia & Andre Lewis who produces for Jill Scott. Honestly, I like Ambrosia with Floetry. I haven’t really been able to get into any of her solo music. I think these two long time friends just lyrically and melodically go together. I hope they have gotten over their differences. Maybe I’ll get to see them perform one day. Peace.
Music is a tool I use to wake up parts of my soul. It is a necessity on the road to being healed. Just as much as I need those silent moments, where I lay in meditation, staring at the ceiling, reflecting on my day, my life, my story, I need the inspiring vibes of beautiful musicians to uplift my spirit and help me positively change my patterns of thinking. Lianne La Havas has been one of those lovely voices that have kept me mentally stimulated and in a positive place. Check her out:
“I’ll wait a little longer While we are and getting stronger I know it’s taking time to heal We’ll be unstoppable Don’t know what I did it for I needed to know that it was always real…
… let’s be at peace, we’ll fly Our hearts collide Can’t escape the magnetic side
I was like a satellite spinning away Almost lost forever and leaving no trace Floating through the darkest reaches of space To another galaxy Our polarity shifted around There is nothing else left holding us down But it’s just gravitational We are unstoppable I just can’t escape the pull We are unstoppable It’s just gravitational We are unstoppable…
… Our head’s held high when we walk down the line, honey Arm-in-arm through the clear night sky…”
This season of my life is all about healing. That is the purpose of this blog, finding the tools I need to bring myself out of an abyss of emotions that were suppressed for a very long time. It takes time to heal, so I am being patient with myself. I am seeing and learning: clairvoyance through observation.
I use this sweet music to lift me, but I have come to see that healing cannot be romanticized. When I was in a very hollow place, there was nothing I could do to feel better about love, but once I got some space and time, I began to see clearly. My heart opened and I began to travel down the road to maturity, which in my case is letting go of anger. I didn’t realize just how much my upbringing had affected my ability to think clearly. I didn’t realize how much I was suffering until I saw my reflection through the eyes of another. Have you seen yourself yet?
The year was 1997, and online music was no where to be found. Most of the world experienced solid, art-based hip-hop through Rap City, Video Vibrations or through either the Vibe, Source, Right On! or Word Up! magazines. My older brother was a hip-hop nut! He introduced our family to this raunchy, fun, yet highly political style of beat-based poetry. When I saw my first Wu-Tang video, Triumph, I was so intoxicated that I wanted to be a rapper. The intensity of the lyrics made my heart percolate! The fast-paced imagery tugged at my youth, urging me to be free. The 10 men I saw on the screen were raw and oddly intellectual.
They seemed to be well-read, open, and real. They were from another world, far away from where I was from. The beats were right up my alley. I was intrigued. The music of Wu-Tang has taught me that we can’t sanitize Black life, making it appear to be easy, and we cannot not alter our stories to please others. Life is what it is. Give it to them raw. I feel blessed to have seen them perform live. It was a fun experience. I also saw the solo performances of Ghostface Killah, and last year I saw GZA perform in Akron,Ohio. RZA had a book talk at the public library, where he shared parts of his personal life story, talked about the business side of Wu-Tang and explained his book, The Tao of Wu. These men are such heart throbs! Their ability to be honest makes them all the more attractive. Whenever Wu-Tang is in town, I will be there, no doubt. The Clan is an ultimate example of the Nguzo Saba aka 7 Principles of Kwanzaa. If you ever see me in the gym, nearly falling off the elliptical, it’s because I’m listening to Triumph, and I have gotten so lifted, that I’m in another world! Be careful when you listen to the Wu. Peace.
It’s 4:00 a.m. and tonight I can’t get to sleep, so I listen. For those of you who are awake, this is a perfect song to take you into Sunday morning. I started it at a nice point, so that you can be at ease, but listen to the song in its entirety if you so please. It’s called Master Teacher. The question is, what if there were no niggas, only Master Teachers? Hope you can get it. Don’t be afraid to be great.
One, two
One, two, three, four
Baby sleep and time
to put her down now
I’ll be standin’ round
until the sun down
I stay woke
I stay woke
I stay woke
I stay woke
Congregation nod they heads
and say Amen
the deacon fell asleep again and
I stay woke
But I stay woke
I stay woke
I stay woke
Lovers holding hands
and falling deep in love
and sleeping and
passing conversation
Ooh, I stay woke
I stay woke
I stay woke
I stay woke
Pretty rings and pretty thieves
with shiny lights and little
pieces of tomorrow
I stay woke
I stay woke
I stay woke
I stay woke
___________ … the rest of the lyrics are here.
Becoming conscious of my own existence, my mind began to transform. I shedded my ego and my eyes opened to reveal my heart. Gaining clairvoyance through observation, I realized that the now was here. I had a chance, so I took it. The urgency of my evolution allowed me to see the matrix, the numbers, the chemistry, the hieroglyphs, the cyphers- the rotation was magnificent. As I matriculate, I stay true. I have seen with my own two eyes the truth. My accountability, my sacrifice, my love is here. I wrote myself back into the story, and started to really love this girl. This level of maturity, this level of security, my restoration is my assignment. Obstacles are moving, resistance is under my elephant feet, I defeat, every time. Better Me. I wanted her so bad, I had to get her. I saw Shila, and I pursued her, until she was strong and her colors shined through. I planted my flag, my culture, my God. I came for her. Osiris Rising.
Storytelling has been an African tradition for a very long time. Our ancestors used stories to record history and to communicate important messages through generations. Poetry is the method I use to tell stories, and this is the woman who made me believe that it could be done. Poetry can change minds, change hearts, lead to soul revivals; it has a place on the streets, in politics, in music, up high, down low, poetry is a tool we use to transcend. Back in 2005, I heard Nikki speak in the wonderful Jubilee Hall on the campus of her and my Alma Mater, Fisk University. She was amazing, with her candid interpretations of life, or should I say, thug life! Check out the tattoo on her left forearm. I can’t believe that Nikki Giovanni is 73 years old. Her name sounds like she is fashion designer, but she is indeed a game changer who has tried to help us recover from having our culture stolen. With her pages of accolades, she has been a fighter and a major voice. With her words of wisdom and ability to communicate with people from all walks of life, she has helped us fight against the deeply-rooted injustices targeted at people of African descent. She is more than a writer, she uplifted the Black Experience and taught it to many generations of young minds. My favorite piece from her is an essay named Gemini, in a book also named Gemini. She speaks about her first 25 years as a Black poet, and in this particular essay, she talks about the relationship between Black men and women. Looking back on it, I can see things a bit clearer. I am grateful. Prophetic poetry is a part of our Black history. Thanks Nikki, for paving a way. Peace.
Earth & Ether 