How I Wear My Leggings – To Compliment My Femininity, Not My Sexuality

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I read that leggings that are worn as pants, have been banned in many schools across the country because they are said to be distracting and too revealing. Employers are banning them for the same reasons, adding that they contribute to harassment and are unsafe. I comprehend. Of course we can argue the truths and untruths of this matter, but the bottom line is, a person has to have self-awareness and esteem to be able to understand why leggings may not be the best choice of attire when in search for success and positive attention. Ladies, do what you feel, but be prepared to receive what you get. I am here to offer alternatives so that you won’t be attacked, embarrassed, or harassed.

Here is how I wear my leggings:

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I have my reasons for not liking leggings… I saw a young lady the other day who, judging from her demeanor and attitude, could not have been over the age of 14. She was very irritated because some boy made a rude comment about her rear end. 😦 Well, she had on leggings and was wearing them as pants, so I’m like… hmmmm… wait a minute. Before we get too angry, let’s talk about self-awareness. She was very shapely for her age and that is OK, but she probably should not have had on leggings as pants. You might want to consider how you wear those leggings young lady! Should you wear a long shirt to cover your behind or perhaps a dress so that your body will be less revealed?

What could she have done differently as to not attract negative attention and energy? Just last month a guy got arrested at my job for approaching some little girls in a sexual manner. It was disgusting. He had been watching them and decided that he’d make his move. I observe the girls every time I am at work, paying attention to what they wear and a lot of it is not cool. Many times I see the young girls raising up their shirts to show their stomachs in public and talking loud, and wearing see through shirts so that the boys can see their bras. And more often than I care to witness, they wear too tight and too small clothing that is a cry for attention. It is just a bit much for a child to be wearing leggings as pants. Actually, I can’t believe how many of them do. I wish that I could say that it is OK to wear anything no matter how tight, but after observing predators, I would cover my child up. That guy wasn’t the first guy I saw go after a child. It saddens me because I wish the world was simple enough to where things were NOT looked at in a sexual way. But the reality is: SEX IS USED TO HYPNOTICALLY DISTRACT AND we have to be careful not to become a victim of the SEX. I work in a public place where I see a whole lot of inappropriateness and hyper-sexuality and I cry. I cry inside for people who have been bamboozled into thinking that letting it all hang out, will get them what they want.

Let’s talk prevention. We can avoid a lot of negative behavior by wearing things that compliment our femininity rather than our sexuality.

Peace and love… I only say these things because I want you to receive the respect you deserve. I’ve made my wardrobe mistakes and wearing too-revealing clothing was one. I do not want or need the wrong kind of attention. I also do not want to be a sexual distraction. I would much rather grab the attention of your mind.

All I can say is that when I dress like a Queen, I am treated as such.

It’s all love,

The Kush Queen of African Essence

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Avoid this: WHEN TRENDS GO WRONG…

What Should I Wear Today? Thrifting, buying only what’s on sale and re-inventing your old clothes…

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When speaking with teenage and pre-teen girls, the most popular and sometimes most difficult things for me to discuss are…

1. how to dress
2. how to stay clean (hygiene)

HOW TO DRESS
It can be difficult to influence the way a young girl dresses because the world is mostly telling her to wear the tightest and most revealing clothes she can find. However, finding acceptable attire that makes a young woman look respectable is possible. The trends have shifted since the early 2000s, but it seems that they are stagnate right now. For the past 8 years or so, it has been all about skinny jeans and leggings. I can barely stand either! It is an easy way to say, “I don’t really care about how I look, so I am going to buy what is on display in the stores because it is easier to just blend in.” Honestly, when shopping, it is hard to find a nice pair of jeans that are NOT labeled skinny. The most popular item for women right now is leggings and blue jean button up shirts that are priced way too high! Come on, you can get one from the thrift store for 3 bucks! You should never buy clothes unless they are on sale! Yes, I said it.Young girls are always growing so why spend loads of money on things they will grow out of next month? Why spend loads of money, period?

Check out this blog on thrifting. You can do a youtube search for thrift store hauls to see how people transform thrifted clothes into masterpieces. Adopt styles that are colorful and vibrant instead of revealing and dull.
thriftionary.blogspot.com

Check out this wonderful blog!

Check out this wonderful blog!

You don’t want to end up looking like this! Absolute no no!
Leggins prohibited

STUCK ON STALE
I do not desire to tell a young woman to stop wearing what is trendy. My initiative is to encourage her to find the type of clothes that best fit her and to stop buying what is “hott.” It is not hott when everyone is wearing the same uniform. Isn’t that just like being in school? I always hear young people complain about school uniform. So why buy the same things that everyone else has? The same shoes, the same fake long hair, the same shirts, the same jeans- the same style! Try something different and wear your own hair young lady! This is what I have seen the constant use of hair weave do to a woman’s hair.

No Weave Permitted

I tell girls to try to listen to whats inside of them. Go with what’s natural and leave the fake in the store. A good place to start is to ask their parents to take them to the thrift stores, Salvation Army’s, and Goodwills. There, they can find unique items that speak more to their personalities. It is also cheaper and will allow them to have 3 shirts instead of 1. Sometimes variety is good.

It can also be difficult to explain to a young lady that Air Jordan’s (the tennis shoe) are not really designed for a woman’s foot. These shoes look hideous on women to me. They are too masculine. This is just my opinion. The girls always show resistance to this when we talk about it. Some listen, some continue to ask for these expensive ugly things. It may just be something they have to mature out of.

TRY THIS…
March53March52March51March50Blog log 044Blog log 055

HOW TO STAY CLEAN
FEATURED BLOG : http://www.africanexportsblog.com/
Yes, we have all smelled an unpleasant young woman before! We have seen weave tracks, and plaque on teeth, and dirty bra straps. We have seen clothes that are too small, what appears to be ash on ankles, necks, faces, and feet. We’ve seen nail polish that has gone bad 3 weeks ago, we have smelled bad breath, saw body parts falling out of clothes… these ARE ALL THINGS THAT SIGNIFY BAD HYGIENE. You have to be careful when teaching this to a young person because many of the girls I talk to, have not been taught how to be sweet young ladies. By “sweet” I mean smelling good, feeling good, talking good, looking good.

Hygiene always starts inward and it oozes outward. What you are on the inside determines how you look. This starts with KNOWLEDGE. Put a book in a young girls hand. Visit your local library and request books on “teaching young girls about personal hygiene.”. Talk to them. Address hygiene issues head on. Pull them to the side and talk about it in a passionate way so that they can feel comfortable. Take them to stores like JCPenny’s or Victoria’s Secret where they can get properly measured for bra sizes. Get their feet measured at Famous Footwear or any department store. Buy measuring tape from the dollar store and show them how to measure the width of their hips and the width of their waists so that they can find the proper sized clothing when shopping.
Searching for bras sizes

Teenage bra sizes

Show them how to shop for sanitary napkins, getting the healthiest brands with the least amounts of bleach and chemicals in them. Tell them how to wash their bodies when bathing. Buy them soaps that won’t irritate their skin and that are sodium lauryl/laureth sulfate free. Give them scented oils that are natural instead of perfumes that are NOT. Many things can fall under this category and it is not easy to talk about it all the time, but you must. Show them how to take care of their own hair instead of funky weave! Girls should be wearing their own hair! Maybe adding a little color would be cool, but that’s it!

Love this girl!

More tips…

In the end, I like to stick with all homemade and natural products like coconut oil, shea butter, coco butter, olive oil, rosemary oil, aloe vera, etc.

STYLE SUGGESTIONS: TRANSFORMING OLD CLOTHES
I really the It’sMyRayeRaye Channel on Youtube

After looking at these videos, you will come up with many many more ideas!

Peace and love,

Queen Duafe for African Essence

My Duafe Throne- When I do poetry, I sit on my Duafe Throne!

My Duafe Throne- When I do poetry, I sit on my Duafe Throne!