My mind is overwhelmed with the reality that I’ve been captured
melancholy rigor mortis becomes me
my spirit is heavier than my mind, my body
my legs shake, denying me mobility
i lay here, but i am not present
i want to stay
but I don’t know how to exist
in this space
I’m fighting
my mind is rotating 345, 360, 315
i daydrift into a dream
i am an earth goddess, spinning
needing to be with you
but needing my solitude

healing, with gel and latex
rubbing herbs into my soul
i contemplate
i look at my face through the fog
“you can do this” i say
affirmations is the way
i can say i love you and mean it
i can walk away,
but that doesn’t mean i’m leaving
just
feed me
food and water,
relieve me
I’ll give you the world
cause I have it,
just let me be free to choose

so I’ll close my eyes

and allow the fear to die,
so I can wake up

and be with you.

I am an Aquarius. we are slow to respond sometimes, because we’re thinking. let us.

more and more, I see, that excuses and blame are tools of the incompetent.
Say what you feel, before what you want gets away.

Love, Shila