The Story Must Be Told- Lee Daniels, Oprah Winfrey & Forest Whitaker

THE BUTLER movie in theaters August 16

I wish I didn’t feel it, but I do. I wish I didn’t see it, but I see. I wish I wasn’t a victim of racism, but I am! You have no idea how many tears have fallen from my eyes. I am human. -Queen

I am in great anticipation of the new film from Director Lee Daniels, The Butler. It has quite a few great actors and actresses, among them, Oprah and Forest Whitaker. I read the recent article in Parade magazine which features commentary from the director and star characters. They discuss what the movie means to them and why the story needs to be told.

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I love this pic of the two of them! photo by Michael Edwards.

In the interview, Oprah had so many hard-hitting points on racism and history and I commend her for using such powerful words. We need to hear people speak up because somehow, we are hiding from the past and allowing it to fade away. Meantime, we still experience racism every single day. In America, it is deeply embedded into our laws and codes of conduct, education system, entertainment and athletic industry, and I see and feel it all the time. No, it’s not paranoia. I experience it from looks, to blatant disrespect from people who refuse to accept African Americans no matter what. They scream diversity and multiculturalism, all the while referring to brown people in a derogatory manner and thinking very stereotypical and hateful thoughts about them as well.

We are told to “get over it” and to “move on”, all the while, being denied decency because America has yet to get over it! We are belittled and accused of pulling the “race card” whenever we choose to speak up about unfair treatment. If there was no card, we would not have one to pull. Whose deck are we playing with? Yes, racist America’s. So just as soon as America stops dealing these race cards, the sooner we’ll stop pulling them! We are told how we should feel by people who do not have our best interests in mind. We suffer from mis-education and from poverty which makes it hard for even the “educated” to survive.

We are encouraged to hate ourselves by giving in to lightened images that depict someone other than us. We are manipulated into spiritual, physical, and financial debt from thousands of years of scars from America’s antagonism of what we really are. Brown people have been bamboozled and we remain weak because every time that we have been strong enough to rise, we have been murdered- lynched, shot, and stabbed. Communities burned down, bombed, and torn apart. We are told not to blame anyone but ourselves for our transgressions. However,I have played the game by their standards, and by my own, and have received the same treatment. It is hard being what I am. I am statistically defined before I come out of the starter block, but yet like Maya, I still rise!

The good thing is, I still have love to give and freedom to fight for. I get stronger.

*** I really love how Oprah comes so hard and real in this interview! First of all, Oprah said she received the offer to do the movie while standing on “her” mountain in Maui. I thought this was a play on words, but she actually has a mountain! I don’t often keep up with the material possessions of Hollywood, but that is pretty deep. Alrighty then!

She talks about the use of the word NIGGA which I absolutely loved. Her words:

“You cannot be my friend and use that word around me. It shows my age, but I feel strongly about it.”

Personally, I don’t get why people are so adamant in using this stupid word! I have had many a debate about it and it ends ridiculously. Some of my favorite artists use the word and it makes me skip the track on days when I just can’t handle it. It is not a friendly word for me. Oprah goes on to say:

“I am a student of history. I grew up knowing where I’ve come from. When you fully get that, it’s hard to be loose-lipped with that word.”

Forest Whitaker:

“I don’t use the word, never did.”

Oprah has challenged Jay-Z on the use of the word and she proudly defends her stance. Yes! I get it.

Director Lee Daniels shared the film with his family in July and his 30-year-old nephew said to him:

“Did some of this stuff really happen?” Daniels admitted that he was very upset. Oprah says that young people today don’t know diddly-squat about the civil rights movement (history). I agree. I work around young people every day who KNOW NOTHING! I find that amazing. A 30-year-old not knowing… that’s horrible! I will be turning 30 soon and I know all about history from the obvious to the hidden. Hmmm. I grew up in Cleveland if that helps? I went to Fisk...? As far back as I can remember existed inside of me a yearning to want to know the truth about who and what I am. However, his nephew does not surprise me. So many people my age know nothing about THEMSELVES. We have become this “other man” who is complacent with the lies we are taught. Honestly, I am not political, pushy, or disrespectful- just proud of my heritage. However, I have noticed that because of the way I speak, with confidence and knowledge, some dubb me negatively. I only try to share what I know as the truth in the most constructive manner possible, and if there is no desire to know from the other party, I walk. I walk a lot. People are comfortable in the Matrix.

Whitaker shares his experiences:

“I’ve had many incidents in my life of racism. I’ve been thrown on the ground. I’ve been frisked. I’ve been arrested so many times I couldn’t tell you. I have no need to talk about it… The movie deals with valuation of life, too. Like whose life is valuable? Is it ok to take life?”

He is speaking about people like Oscar Grant and Trayvon Martin. He goes on to make an excellent point:

“If you can’t accept that these things are going on, you’re living an illusion. So the question at this point is more of, how can we move the needle forward? Can we speak up? I think this film helps that in some way… and it’s not just the Black culture; we have to look at ourselves as global citizens and what’s happening to people all over the world.”

Oprah:

“Are more people judged by the content of their character than by the color of their skin? Yes. Is everybody judged by the content of their character? Absolutely not.”

I was very pleased with the article by Katherine Heintzelman. Sometimes I feel completely exhausted with having to fight fight fight. I feel like fighting for my rights has taken time away from many other things in life that I could have been successful with. I wish I had time and expenses to travel and speak many languages and be connected with nature without having to live in such a toxic world. I wish I did not have to spend so much time mentally preparing so that when I am around certain people and groups I don’t have to get angry or lose it when they make bottomless racist remarks! Oh how I wish I had the freedom to just be me and to never have to worry about how people are going to look at me. I wish I hadn’t had to cry all those nights because a man or woman from a different race disrespected me or looked at me a certain way often times with hate and jealousy.  I wish I didn’t feel it, but I do. I wish I didn’t see it, but I see. I wish I wasn’t a victim of racism, but I am! You have no idea how many tears have fallen from my eyes, wind knocked right out of me with ill remarks. All the while, all I can think is: I am a human creation of God. Why?

Queen Duafe for African Essence

P.S. I cried right when I finished this. But like always, I have to pick myself up. I am going to listen to Gaelle’s Fade Away because I can relate. Make sure you listen to the lyrics. Then I’ll probably listen to E. Badu’s Drama and Lauryn Hill’s I Get Out because I stay grounded in this music. Father, free from this bondage, knowing my condition, is the reason I must change!

I Am Not Afraid to Turn 30

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I am happy to be coming close to 30!

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Probably won’t be taking anymore of these shots!

I am going to be 30 pretty soon and at least 20 people have asked me about having children. Whenever my age comes up, this is the first thing that people inquire about! Everyone wants to know about my marital status and my desires to start a family. Very rarely do people ask if I am happy with the work that I do or if I have good health. The only thing people seem to care about with this 29 year old girl is rather I am going to start having babies! Well I am not!

I am finding it hard to endure this sense of urgency and pressure that people are putting on me to have children right now! Honestly, I do not desire to have a child at the current moment and I am not the type of person who has dreamed of being married with children since I was a little girl. I have dreams more like Martin Luther King, Jr. I am sure the experience of having a child is wonderful, but I am in a different place. I do not need a child to define what I am as a woman. What I really need in my life is peace. Without it, I cannot imagine ever having a child.

Finding peace is my number one goal in life. I need to be able to live with who I am and get the best out of all of my experiences. I want to do other things so that if I ever have a child, I would be able to share my wonderful life with them via travel, education, and spirituality. My journey has only begun. If I do not have a child, then I will continue to share these things with my nieces and nephews. So to everyone that cannot help but to worry about what is going to happen to 30 year old Shila, you can just stop it! What I want is to stand on solid ground. Everything else will come naturally.

I cannot live up to anyone’s expectations, not even my own sometimes. So I would love it if everyone could just chill. It almost seems like people pity me for being childless. It’s like they ridicule my freedom. Not to say that children take away all freedom, but this is the tone in which people speak to me.

However, life is a beautiful thing and I appreciate everything that happens to me. I can appreciate the “warnings” but I do not feel threatened by age. I feel enlightened and mature!  I am not afraid of 30. When I was 25, two different doctors advised that I start having children then. They made it sound like if I didn’t start soon, my chances of miscarriage would be high. This may be true, but WHAT IF I am just a healthy person? Let’s focus on that! I always wondered why they had to make my life sound like a ticking time bomb.

I feel like turning 30 will be the beginning of another beautiful phase in my life and I am ready to learn and just have fun with it. I have noticed changes in my metabolism and I have gained a little weight- I am the heaviest that I have ever been in my life. I noticed that any extra pounds I pick up are gathering in my midsection and thighs. All I can do is work harder at eating right and exercising (so, no I am not pregnant to the people who asked!).

Frankly, I am so excited to be getting away from the turbulent twenties. I feel like moving on. I am ready to accept everything that comes with age rather it be weight or peace. I was speaking with someone about looks and she spoke to me as if my body changes had to be a negative thing. Why would I expect to have the same body as I did when I was younger? I am not interested in looking like a plastic magazine cover either. I want to be naturally me. Furthermore, I am fond of moderation so I will not watch myself become too much of anything if I can help it. Turning 30 does not mean that I can start overeating and destroying my body. I want to stay healthy. I know plenty of sistahs who are in their 40s, 50s, and 60s who look amazing.

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My girl Rashimba Bloom is looking good in her late 30s!

I do not fear looking older. I just do not see myself letting go and becoming desperate for a relationship or for a man. I am not interested in the older man who chases after younger women purposefully as if older women have nothing he desires. I figure, let the younger women have him, because I don’t want an immature man like that. My mind operates a little differently. I am prone to move towards a person out of love and not lust.

Also, I have noticed that I feel differently about many things; but I can control my anxiety and levels of stress better than I ever have. My hair is different, my mind is different, and my spirit is ever evolving! That is what I care about. Not the simple age of 30. The “BIG 3-0″ they say! NO PRESSURE. I am ready to embrace it all! Furthermore, if I get to be 40, and my partner and I decide to have a baby, all we can do is try. There will be no regrets. I am living in this moment right now… and I love it!

Thelathini, karibu! (30, welcome!)

Peace and love,

Queen Duafe for African Essence

Queen

My niece and I

P.S. I am looking forward to reading this book:

Sophia: Goddess of Wisdom, Bride of God

Sophia: Goddess of Wisdom, Bride of God

Need a good book to read? I found this one to be OK. It was helpful in many ways.

HBR’s 10 Must-Reads on Managing Yourself

Book

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