DAY 7 – KWANZAA 365: Knowing my Condition is the Reason I Must Change!

‘Father, free me from this bondage
Knowin’ my condition is the reason I must change

I just accepted what you said, keepin’ me among the dead
The only way to know is to walk, then learn and grow
But FAITH is not your speed
Oh, you’ve had everyone believe

That you’re the sole authority
Just follow the majority
Afraid to face reality
The system is a joke

Oh, you’d be smart to save your soul
Oh, and escape this mind control
You spent your life in sacrifice
To a system for the dead

Oh, are you sure?
Where is the passion in this living?
Are you sure, it’s God you servin’?
Obligated to a system, getting less than you’re deserving

Who made up these schools, I say?
Who made up these rules, I say?
Animal conditioning
Oh, just to keep us as a slave        -Lauryn Hill

WE should want to celebrate and uplift Kwanzaa.

WHAT IS KWANZAA? ⇒ A holiday that celebrates Black people and Black culture. It highlights and describes OUR journey in the western hemisphere and our connection to the continent of Africa; and makes projections about what we can do to get back on track. I think it benefits children most because it teaches them about themselves. It’s important to grow up rooted in YOURself. In the spirit of IMANI:


My gift to you today is: Lauryn Hill’s MTV Unplugged. With this CD, I hope you can find faith in yourself. My favorite song is: I GET OUT. It reminds me of what I left behind in 2014. I woke up many nights, feeling like I was suffocating. I knew that I needed to change my situation. If I stayed, I’d be victimized and used. America teaches me everyday, that I have to get out! I had to remember who I was. I soon learned to HAVE FAITH IN mySELF! I am perfectly imperfect, and I love it! Click here to listen the entire album. Every lyric in I GET OUT is relevant, so I strongly suggest you listen carefully. It applys to personal life as well.

‘I just don’t sympathize no more

‘Cuz now I understand, you just wanna use me
You say love, then abuse me
You never thought you’d loose me
But how quickly we forget that nothin’ is for certain

You thought I’d stay here hurtin’
Your guilt trip’s just not workin’
Repressin’ me to death ‘cuz now I’m choosin’ life, yo
I take the sacrifice, yo, if everything must go, then go
That’s how I choose to live’


In this album, Lauryn is uplifting the principles of Kwanzaa. It is simply about CONNECTING PEOPLE TO THEIR BLACKNESS. We need to be connected to ourselves. As long as we pretend that we do not, we are doomed.

There are many people who are confused about Kwanzaa, including those who practice it. I am not saying this in attempt to draw any emotion from anyone or disregard anyone’s frame of thinking. I am saying it because I really hope that in the future, or right here in the PRESENT, we can all begin to go to the SOURCE for our information. That is what my blog is about. I have grown tired of getting second hand accounts of history, of experiences, of anything! Too often do we try to attack things that we grasp no true understanding of. Do you really get what Kwanzaa is about? A simple internet search will not guarantee you knowledge of KWANZAA. Try reading about it. Try visiting Maulauna Karenga, the Creator of Kwanzaa! He is still alive and practices it every year. I am sure experiencing Kwanzaa with him will change your life! I will be meeting Maulana Karenga soon, and I plan on having a wonderful conversation with him. I am excited.


STOP AND THINK. I see people attacking and misrepresenting Kwanzaa. I wanted to know why. So I began to study it because I didn’t want to be one of those people. My nieces and nephews ask me about it all the time, and I decided that I really want to be able to teach them about it in a holistic fashion, so I read Karenga’s books. It is an AWESOME and AMAZING celebration, created by an AWESOME and AMAZING intellectual. It’s definitely not something to be attacked. It’s something that we should build on. Can we just agree to stop looking OUTSIDE of ourselves for answers? WE are the ANSWER. A lot of the confusion around the holiday, can be resolved or discussed by subscribing to Karenga’s newsletter, reading his books, or traveling to see him speak. It is worth it. Why live in confusion, when the firsthand information is right here, right now?

‘No more compromises, I see past your diguises
Blindin’ me through mind control, stealin’ my eternal soul
Appealin’ through material to keep me as your slave’

Read more: Lauryn Hill – I Get Out Lyrics | MetroLyrics

In 2014, after losing great Black Intellectuals like Amiri Baraka and Maya Angelou, I have began to feel the urgency in the NOW! I decided that I would meet Maulana Karenga because it is important for me to get a firsthand experience of him. He has created something that has lasted for 48 years. How can we ignore his brilliance?

I want to know who I am, right now today! Not tomorrow, not after I fall in love, not next week, I want to know NOW! I feel like it is most important to know who I AM, and to have FAITH in me. Without a true understanding of myself, which KWANZAA promotes, I have no real future.

For as long as I can remember, I have known what Kwanzaa was, but I hadn’t received an opportunity to delve into what it really meant. For the past two years, I celebrated Kwanzaa with a group of people who I had an artistic connection to, and I enjoyed many parts of our “kindred” celebration. Being with them opened up the door to my fascination with the concept of Kwanzaa. Still, there was a void.

This was the 3rd year that I observed Kwanzaa. Instead of performing the ceremonial part of it, I made a decision to focus my thoughts on truly learning what it was about. Last year, I met a person who had received great mentorship from Maulana Karenga. I thought, “what are the odds of me meeting someone that had been in such close proximity to the man who created KWANZAA?” Then I met two more people who also had studied with Karenga! I knew this was for a reason! I knew that I needed the knowledge that they came to give. In these people, I felt something that I hadn’t felt in a long time- a sense of confidence and truth, that was unchallenged. Some of our conversations were brief, but when they spoke, I saw God. I saw truth, I saw power. I listened. They were feeding me. It wasn’t me being controlled or manipulated by their words. It wasn’t me being naive or confused. It was more like, a “God” thing. They spoke highly of their experiences with Karenga, and they practiced power over no one but themselves. They made me want power over myself. After speaking with them, I wanted nothing other than to KNOW ME! I want to know myself! NO ONE can control me. How dope is that?

I feel like we are at such a disadvantage when we are Black, and do not grasp an understanding of those that came before us. Why now is Stokely Carmichael, Kwame Ture? Leroi Jones, Amiri Baraka? Malcolm Little, Malcolm X or El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz? They grew to possess a knowledge of themselves, and could no longer hold onto their old selves. It would be disrespectful even, to refer to them by the names that they shed.

When you find out who you are, you’ll understand what Kwanzaa is about. 90 percent of our battle remains to be intellectual- what we do not KNOW kills us. You cannot play the game until you have done the work. READ what they wrote. If they are alive, experience them. When you know what these Black intellects did, you’ll be less bound to repeat mistakes, you’ll be less likely to allow yourself to be distracted. So, no, I don’t want to hang out anymore. I do not wish to drink, party, or cater to anyone’s emotions, I just want to read, and learn about my people. I just need a little time to UP my game. I have great things to do! I can feel it.

Peace and love, KWANZAA 365. 9:00 P.M. 1/1/15

Modeling for Blow Magazine

P.S. My blog is my celebration of my Blackness, of my self. Although the greatest parts of my life are not published here, I try to share some elements of my TRUTH. I share so that you can grow with me. I love you. PLEASE read my other posts if you can. You don’t have to like them or do anything really. Just read them and if you have information that you feel would make me better, let me know! GROW WITH me.



DAY 3 – KWANZAA AFTER DARK: THE real Work starts at Home UJIMA



DAY 6 – KWANZAA AFTER DARK: On the 6th Day of Kwanzaa, My True Love Gave to Me… KUUMBA